Ladies Night Presents: Over The Top (1987)

Over the Top (1987) Director: Menahem Golan. Writers: Story- Gary Conway, David Engenbach. Screenplay- Stirling Silliphant, Sylvester Stallone. Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Robert Loggia, David Mendenhall.

Lincoln Hawk is a long haul truck driver and professional arm wrestler. He has been trying to raise enough money to take care of his wife and son. He has not seen his family since his son was a baby. His wife is now in the hospital, near death from an illness. She asked Lincoln to pick up their son, Mike (Mendenhall), from military school, drive him across country, and bring him home. She hopes the journey will give them a chance to get to know each other. The boy’s grandfather, Jason Cutler (Loggia), will do any thing to keep Lincoln out of his life. Hawk will have to arm wrestle his hands off in the big match if he want to keep his son.

Tidbits

In 1988, child star David Mendenhall won 2 Razzie Awards for his performance in Over The Top. One for Worst New Star, and One for Worst Supporting Actor.

Sylvester Stallone was nominated for a Razzie the same year, but lost out to Bill Cosby for Leonard Part 6 (hey, it’s better then Ghost Dad). As of 2004 Stallone was the all time Razzie Award master. In 1990, he won a Razzie for Worst Actor of the Decade, and one for worst Actor of the Century in 2004.

The film did win a real award as well. It received an ASCAP for the song“Meet Me Halfway”. I'm sure Miss Directed has more to say about that tune later.

In 1986, LewCo released a toy line featuring movie characters from Over The Top, as well as actual arm wrestlers. Kids could stage their very own bad assed arm wrestling match.

Over The Top is a feel-good film that delivers truck driving, arm wrestling and more montages than one can shake an upbeat 80’s song at. When this one was brought up for Ladies Night, I was excited by the title and the plot, but I didn't have high expectations. Sadly, my intuition was right on about this one.

With a name like Over The Top, I expected thing to be more, well, over the top. As it turns out, this refers to an arm wrestling move. It’s the big finish. Yes, the movie did make me laugh, but not as loudly or as often as I had hoped. Don’t get me wrong, the arm wrestling matches were fantastic! However, some of the scenes in between the matches were almost unbearable. The father son bonding seemed creepy and unnatural. I thought I was watching a NAMBLA commercial. This was funny also, but a bad joke can’t save a film.

The one redeeming factor for me was Robert Loggia. I like typing his name, Robert Loggia. The best actor in the movie was Robert Loggia. He was very believable as the rich, demanding family patriarch who might have mob connections. But, isn’t he always good in this role? The scenes with Robert Loggia were by far the most enjoyable.Unfortunately, this does make Stallone and Mendenhall seem even worse. Robert Loggia.

I can’t say that I recommend this movie to anybody. I have seen worse, hell, I’ve loved worse movies then this, but I just can’t get behind Over The Top. I enjoyed the overall experience of watching this Stallone disaster with Miss Directed, but it wasn’t because of the quality of the film. I suppose if one is an unyielding Sly fan, or an arm wrestling buff, go for it. If not, keep going.

Semi-Rating

Anyone who has ever put pen to paper knows sometimes the hardest thing to write is the title. Nothing is more frustrating than writing something good, and trying to boil it down to one phrase. It’s like sitting down to the SAT’s, knowing you aced it, and forgetting to put your name on it. This is how so many young writers end up with so many works entitled “Untitled“. Sterling Siliphant ,co-writer of Over the Top, has never been burdened with this issues. In a career that runs the gambit from Circle of Iron to In the Heat of the Night, he makes titles look easy. In the pantheon of his easily named scripts, Over the Top must have seemed like a paid vacation. What else would you have called this movie?

From the opening few moments you were already deep into big trucks, crazy eyed arm wrestling, and a dying mom so you don’t forget that this movie is deep. I mean seriously, a rich military school kid who’s Grandad is freakin’ Robert Loggia, damn that’s dramatic. In one of the big climatic scenes, and 18 wheeler breaks down a gate, barrels across Robert Loggia’s lawn, and takes out no less than four Grecian statues. Nope, this one could not have been called Over the Side or From the Back (though the latter might be debatable). If this film was anything, it was Over the Top.

While a lot of credit for living up to the title has to go to Stallone for his crazy eyes, you’ve got to give it up for David Mendenhall as Michael, the kid that pits Robert Loggia and Sly against each other. Mendenhall clearly never met an inflection he didn’t like, and he looks eerily like Demi Moore. Which disturbed me, a lot. Now, it’s easy to talk about how the acting or action lives up to the moniker, but there’s one other piece of the puzzle. Like “Highway to the Danger Zone” means Top Gun, “Meet Me Halfway” should be synonymous with Over the Top. That means it's time for us to talk a little Loggins.

I’m about to make a case that Kenny Loggins is the Bob Dylan of soundtrack songwriters. Now before my friends reserve me a rubber room, I’m not saying that he is Bob Dylan. After all, “Danny’s Song” will never be accused of being the anthem for a generation. Kenny Loggins was one of the singer-songwriters who created the adult contemporary format, and I’m sure that’s not helping my case. Being stuck on an elevator that’s rockin’ some Loggins makes me long for the good old days of Muzak, when it was all xylophones. The older I get the more I‘m intrigued by artists who delve into their field with a degree of passion, but also address it as a craft.

They showed Kenny Caddyshack, and the world gets “I’m All right”. He penned “Footloose” a song that went beyond a movie theme, and became the soundtrack for a year. Now imagine being Kenny Loggins and getting the Over the Top phone call. The easy thing to do is say “No”; after all, you’ve got money. That’s not very Kenny Loggins though. If you want a song to inspire an uplifting fight against authority, then he’s your man. “Meet Me Halfway” is as big and inspiring as it need to be for this film. That means it’s a ball-to-the-wall power ballad. Cheesy. Yes. Effective. Yes, for this film, definitely. It’s not a great song, but it does have great potential when coupled with a montage.

The heartbreaking thing about Over the Top is that a great screenwriter and a solid actor got together with some experienced people and made a terrible, terrible movie. The redeeming portions of Over the Top just don’t add up to a whole film. The idea is a hard one for me to go with in the first place. I don’t see many arm wrestling truck drivers, and I’ve been in Waffle House at 3 A.M. plenty enough times. I just don’t meet enough tuckers with the “guns” so to speak. Even if I go along with it, the story is just not that interesting. Poor little rich kid themes drive me to distraction in the best of movies. There’s just not one character in this movie that I can identify with in the slightest.

That doesn’t mean it’s not a fun, bad movie. It’s one of the best at being bad. All these talented people took the title to heart, and they took all the care and time they needed to live up to it. Over the Top is more than a devastating power move designed to defeat any arm-wrestler. It’s as pure, as on the nose a title as description for a film you could ever want. This is not one of the films that gives good-bad films a bad name. Instead, it gives it a very specific name indeed. Hope you enjoyed our review of Over the Top. If you did, that is very Loggins of you.

Semi Rating

Remote Control (1988) - Or Pardon Me Sir, But There’s a UFO in my VCR

Despite the title of today’s film, it does not star the dearly departed Ken Ober who has gone on to the great game show in the sky. There is nary a Colin Quinn anywhere to be seen, and though it could have used it, not a hint of Kari Wuhrer. Instead this film was built on a foundation of ‘50’s science fiction coupled with the development of the futuristic appliance known as the VCR. In 1988, Blockbuster had yet to rear its ugly head, and the majority of video rental places were still little Mom and Pop joints. Getting into this movie, it took me right back to that time, and seeing that this segment is devoted to video tape in all its glory, I had to tell you folks about it.

Remote Control stars Kevin Dillion as Cosmo, a video store clerk with an inordinately low voice. Cosmo and his pal Georgie (Christopher Wynne) spend the afternoon building a display for the new hot film Remote Control, and people are strangely drawn to the display. The movie flies out of the store with the last copy going to Georgie’s crush Allegra James (Jennifer Tilly). The next day she turns out to have been killed, and the video store clerks become suspects. Soon the guys are avoiding the cops and avoiding watching Remote Control which they think makes people go crazy. A visit to the factory where the tapes were made uncovers the truth. This is no ordinary video tape. This is an invasion from outer space.

The film within the film, also called Remote Control, is a ‘50’s science fiction film about a video tape that makes people go crazy and kill their husbands with futuristic knitting needles. To say this film plays out with a tongue in cheek style is pretty obvious, but the really surprising thing is that it actually works. A lot of the credit has to go to writer/director Jeff Lieberman. He doesn’t have many credits to his name, but those he does have are singular type of films. He brought us killer hippies in Blue Sunshine (1976), an avalanche of killer worms in Squirm (1976), Robert Vaughn starring as the diabolical doctor in Franken (1980), and the killer rednecks feature Just before Dawn (1981). While Remote Control goes for a more broadly comic feel, there should be no doubt to anyone that’s seen Lieberman’s other films that the director always seemed to be directing horror with a humorous slant.

While the script was clever and most of the scenes well put together, none of it would have worked if it hadn’t been for Kevin Dillon. The lesser known, or lesser employed, brother of Matt Dillon is best known now for his role as Johnny Drama on the HBO series Entourage, but back in 1988 he just looked like a skinny stretched out version of his big brother. Oh, and his voice. I mentioned it briefly earlier because it was so striking. Dillon physically didn’t even look like his balls had dropped, but his voice was already giving James Earl Jones a run for his money. It was strange to hear that voice come out of that body. Dillon was great in the film, and his personality totally fit the film’s tone. He played his part straight while campiness exploded around him, and it was just what the film needed. It also begs to mention that after this parody of ‘50’s Sci-Fi Dillon starred in a remake from the same genre with the 1988 version of The Blob.

The film features a few other good players, but before I get to them I have to mention the future star in this film. Way before Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon heated things up in Bound; Tilly was just starting out with bit parts on TV and film. (Her last role was in the Anthony Michael Hall film Johnny Be Good.) Her role in Remote Control is fairly small, but she makes an impression while she’s around. This is partially because you know it's Jennifer Tilly, and partially because her character’s hair looked a lot like a gothic version of Bozo the Clown’s coif. Sadly, her character Allegra Jones doesn’t last long, and it's too bad. Tilly was much better than the girl cast in the lead role, but maybe they just didn’t have that much hairspray in the budget.

The lead female part is played by Deborah Goodrich, and she was mostly forgettable as Cosmo’s unrequited crush Belinda. The only really interesting thing about her character was how Lieberman played with ‘80’s fashion and made it come off looking like costuming from the ‘50’s Sci-Fi he was paying tribute to. Also fairly enjoyable was Christopher Wynn as Georgie. Wynn provided the perfect foil for Dillon’s over the top heroic character. Wynn still shows up form time to time in bit parts, but never a guest role on Entourage. Come on Kevin; throw your old co-star a bone.

Remote Control works as a pretty clever satire of both classic science fiction and the VHS boom. Just the shots running though the video store were enough to take me back. There was one scene that especially made me nostalgic. A kid is told to pick up a movie, but to “cover your eyes while you go by the adult section”. Like any good kid, he peeks and gets an eyeful of sleazy cover art. I recall stealing quite a few glances into that section in my youth. If you grew up in the era where VHS became king, I think you’ll enjoy this little flick and the unique spin on the alien invasion storyline. It’s a film with an important lesson. Be kind, rewind, or the aliens will get you.

Bugg Rating

There's no trailer available on this one, but you can check out the whole film in parts on YouTube. Here's a link to part ONE.

Terrifying Trailers Presents The Crazies (2010)

I went to see the Men Who Stare at Goats the other day, and I have to admit the highlight was the trailer for the remake of George Romero’s The Crazies. Now, I’ve heard about this thing for a while, and never bothered to dwell on it. I saw Day of the Dead Part II so I’ve been burned by Faux-mero films before. They’re usually half baked remakes barely suitable for human intake. Now granted how offended could I be by a remake of The Crazies? I’ve never seen the original, and after sampling Romero’s off-brand flicks like Season of the Witch and Martin, I wasn’t in a huge rush.

When the trailer started I was hooked from the start. Two words, Timothy Olyphant. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Deadwood was one of the finest shows ever. Period. Now Olyphant was just one reason for its success, and that doesn’t get him a pass on that insipid Hitman movie or his less than threatening performance in Live Free or Die Hard. Here it looks like he’s back in form in the role of the sane lawman dealing with the outbreak of madness. Plus it’s got Rhada Mitchell, and she was pretty good in Silent Hill even if the film was uneven.

The Crazies is directed by Breck Eisner, son of ex-Disney honcho Michael Eisner. He’s been around for a while, but the last movie he directed was Sahara. I know, it makes me worried too, but we better get used to Eisner playing in genre. He’s got the remake of The Creature from the Black Lagoon lined up for 2011 and a proposed reboot of Flash Gordon for 2012. (That is unless that Cusack flick is right after all. Then we won’t have to worry about that one. ) From the look of the trailer I like what he’s shooting for, and if he gives the film a realistic look while being able to maintain the creepiness from the trailer, then I’m in. The use of Cat Stevens plaintive Mad World in the trailer manages to make listening to Cat Stevens badass for the first time ever.

So check out the trailer for The Crazies (2010) and The Crazies (1973). I know I’ll be checking out the original before the remake drops. Love to hear what some folks think, especially someone who’s seen the original. So drop a comment, and drop back by tomorrow for another selection from the VHS format.

The 1978 Italian Double Feature: Damned In Venice and Blazing Bullets

Hey folks. It's the beginning of the week, and that means another dose of Italian cinema. This week I've got a pair of features for you that both made their way to the screen 31 years ago in 1978. First up, Dammned in Venice manages to rip off The Omen and still come out on top. Then all the fast and furious Fiats you could want in Blazing Bullets. So comb your mustaches, pour a double shot of J&B Whiskey, and enjoy this pair of films brought to you by The Bugg and Once Upon a Time in Italy.

Damned in Venice (1978) [Italian: Nero veneziano] starring Renato Cestie, Rena Niehaus, and Yorgo Voyagis. Directed by Ugo Liberatore.

A young blind boy, Mark (Renato Cestie) begins to have visions of death and tragedy as he and his sister Christine (Rena Niehaus) go to live in a boarding house in Venice. His sister ignores his warning of a dark force that seeks to invade their lives even as people around them start to die. After Dan (Yorgo Voyagis), who Mark has seen in his visions, takes a room in the house, Christine soon becomes pregnant with what Mark believes is the child of Satan. Unable to find any help, and perhaps even being a pawn in the game, Mark is helpless to prevent the birth of the Antichrist and the coming Apocalypse.

Damned in Venice was not the first, or the last, of the Omen/Rosemary’s Baby clones released in Italy in the late seventies, but for my money, it may well be nearly the best. Other than the plot revolving around the birth of the Antichrist, there is little to the that seems unoriginal. While the pacing of the movie is a bit slow, the twists and turns of the plot will leave even the most studious of watchers guessing right up until the very last scenes. I’m no fan of remakes, but I would love to see this forgotten film get a retelling.

I even have to give it up for young Ronato Cestie for a pretty fine performance as Mark. Child actors in low budget features are usually not very adept at their roles, but Cestie gets high marks from me. He not only does a good job selling his blindness, but he also gives a fine performance as he helplessly watches his sister overwhelmed by the powers of darkness. Cestie was no stranger to the screen by this point having had roles in Fulci’s The Return of White Fang, Martino’s Torso, and Mario Bava’s classic Twitch of a Death Nerve.

The other performances that ground the film are quite good as well. Rena Niehaus transitions Christine quite well from innocent young girl to the “Mary” of Satan’s evil plot. Yorgo Voyagis (Pavlo in the classic Zorba the Greek) provides the necessary amount of menace as the carrier of Satan’s seed, and Fabio Gamma, playing the man who weds Christine even though she is already with child, is fabulous. His performance as the tortured husband, and the only one who accepts Mark’s visions, is the emotional linchpin of the piece. Also watch out for a brief appearance by Greek actress Olga Karlatos who would go on to star in Fulci’s Murder Rock and play Prince’s mom in the film Purple Rain.

For anyone who is a fan of films like Beyond the Door or Carpi’s Ring of Darkness, you’ll find a lot to like here. The supernatural elements are kept pretty low key, and mostly they are relegated to within Mark’s eerie visions. This gives the film a tone that almost combines the supernatural with a giallo. It is difficult to see where the film is headed, but by the time you get to the destination it is a conclusion that will leave you with chills running down your spine.

Bugg Rating

Blazing Bullets (a.k.a Blazing Flowers) starring Marc Porel, George Hilton, Al Cliver, and Mario Novelli. Directed by Gianni Martucci.

Pino (Porel) is a nice young man who just happens to be getting out of jail after a 6 year stint for armed robbery. Pino Scalise is also a heck of a driver, but those days are behind him. As he leaves the jail in Sicily, he heads out for a new life with his uncle in Milan. He even gets a job driving, but just loads of flowers this time. Pino begins to settle in to his new life, and his uncle sends him out for a night on the town. Running into an old underworld friend, Pino spends a night in a high class brothel with a beautiful woman. It’s not until later he discovers the woman, Firoella, is actually his cousin Mariana. Furious that his cousin is being kept as a prostitute, he makes connections to get her freedom with the head of the local mafia, Don Chicco. A deal is struck, and Pino must take the wheel for one last job.

The original Italian title to this film, Milano... difendersi o moiré, is roughly translated to mean “Milan to defend themselves or to die”. I think this gives a better picture to what the movie is than the American or UK re-titles. This is the age old tale of a criminal trying to stay on the straight and narrow, and being forced back into crime for noble reasons. Some would say I left a giant hole in my synopsis when I failed to bring in George Hilton’s hard edged cop, Inspector Morani. While I enjoyed Hilton’s performance, the film really takes its cues and center from the story of Pino Scalise.

Writer/Director Gianni Martucci has only five credits in his directing career with the last being 1988’s The Red Monk produced by Lucio Fulci. I bring this up because there is a strong Fulci connection throughout this film. Lead actor Marc Porel appeared in The Psychic and Don’t Torture a Duckling, George Hilton in Massacre Time, Al Cliver of Zombi 2 shows up here as a smooth criminal, and The New Gladiators’ Mario Novelli rounds it out as the hood who gets Pino back in the life. Even cinematographer Gianni Ferrio has a Fulci connection as he was the shooter for the Fulci/Lenzi mess of a film Zombi 3, but don’t hold that against him. Here he provides some amazing shots which showcase the actors and the beauty of Milan perfectly.

This is the kind of Euro-Crime flick that I like. There’s a good main story, and lots of nice subplots. There are beautiful women and the screen oozes with style from both of the sexes. It’s got fistfights, shootouts, and car crashes a plenty. It’s got criminals with cool names like Nosey and Domino. Then there’s the evocative soundtrack of Gianni Ferrio which comes across more like the soundtrack to a film noir, and gives Blazing Bullets a sense of grandness. This feeling juxtaposes the mundane life Pino craves with the criminal life he must bear. I would be remiss if I did not mention this. There’s the most amazing cigarette dispenser I’ve ever seen about thirty minutes into the film. So if you like action, Euro-crime, or Poliziotteschi flicks, check this one out.

Bugg Rating

Unfortunately, neither of these gems have any trailers of clips I can offer you. But you can pick up both of these through Cinema de Bizarre. So head on over, pick them up, and make sure you tell them T.L. sent ya.

An Evening with Klaus Kinski: Jess Franco's Jack the Ripper (1976)

Over the years, there have been many people who’ve tackled the role of Jack the Ripper. From Tom Savini to Ian Holm to Anthony Perkins, many actors have stepped into the role, but when Jess Franco began his production on the classic tale, there was only one actor in his mind, Klaus Kinski. Franco never met a script that was full of violence and sex that he didn’t like, and with 190 films to his credit, I always think of him as the spiritual forefather of prolific filmmakers like Takashi Miike. Like Miike, Franco also never shied away from trying his hand at a variety of material. Still many people consider Jack the Ripper (1976) to be his most uncharacteristic film.

The film concerns itself with Dr. Orloff (Klaus Kinki), a physician whose practice is floundering with a string of low-income clients who can’t afford to pay. By night, the good doctor moonlights as Jack the Ripper terrorizing the back alleys of White Chapel. The case is taken up by Inspector Selby (Andreas Mannkoff) whose only leads are the vague impressions of a dowager and the smells picked up by a blind man. The Ripper eludes capture at every turn and continues his reign of terror aimed at London’s ladies of the night. When Selby’s girlfriend Cynthia (Josephine Chaplin) goes undercover without Selby’s knowledge, it’s a race for the Inspector to find Cynthia or the Ripper before she becomes the next victim.

If you’re looking for a film that bothers with historical accuracy, then you’re looking in the wrong place. You’re better off with the pseudo-history in the Hughes Brother’s film From Hell than taking a lesson from Professor Jess Franco. Very little in Franco’s film is even vaguely accurate, but that’s not what he was striving for. He was interested in portraying Jack the Ripper as a sexual sadist with seriously twisted oedipal issues. In one of the films most interesting scenes, Dr. Orloff has a vision of Cynthia dressed as a prostitute who provokes his ire by taunting him with his mother’s own past as a whore. That night to find his release, Orloff in Ripper mode hires a woman for sexual pleasure and cuts off both of her breasts. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see the symbolism is his choice of victims or the acts he perpetrates on them.

Most films about Jack the Ripper spend little time on the killer’s motives or modus operandi, and instead they turn their focus on the detective on the prowl for the murderer. While Jack the Ripper is far from a great film, it did spark my interest by pairing the mythos of the White Chapel murders with the sado-sexuality of Franco’s other films such as Eugenie or Justine. The film also maintains an air of creepy, voyeuristic sexuality though the lens of cinematographer Peter Baumgardener. He was well versed in erotic, or perhaps more accurately, sexploitation films from his pervious work on films such as Naked Stewardesses (1971) and Swedish Nympho Slaves (1976). From the aforementioned breast dicing to a scene where Dr. Orloff humps the body of another victim, the depraved sexual nature of the killer is definitely the film’s most interesting contribution to the cinematic persona of The Ripper.

Klaus Kinski was the perfect actor to play the deviant version of Jack the Ripper. With a face like a gargoyle, his perfectly placed blonde hair, and steely blue eyes, Kinski manner easily gives the impression of a man with a darkness barely contained behind his eyes. His performance in the film gives the whole of the proceedings weight, and there is never any doubt that he was the star. That being said, unlike his run-ins with Werner Herzog that I detailed last week, both Franco and producer Max Dora have praised Kinski for being communicative, easy going, and more than willing to give his best to help the film. In an interview on the DVD I watched, Dora even went so far as to say that Kinski pitched in and directed some of his own scenes. The version I watched which included the interview was from the official Jess Franco collection, and the special feature was enlightening and very interesting. However, the disk only contains an English dubbing that was middling at best. While it also had the film in its original German, it didn’t provide an English subtitle track to match up with it. I would have much rather heard Klaus deliver his lines in his native tongue rather than the clumsily dubbed voice, but I tried hard not to let this detract from my enjoyment of the film.

The supporting cast rarely rises above their roles although there are a few scenes sans Kinski that do stand out including a questioning session in Selby’s office that hit was sharply scripted. Andreas Mannkoff performance as Selby was serviceable, but he didn’t have enough of a presence to make an impression. Thankfully, he only shared a single scene with Kinski or his flaws would have become more apparent. More entertaining was the officer who always accompanied Selby. The actor that played him is not important. What made the character interesting was the performer who dubbed the voice. The voice he chose to give the officer was a broad caricature of a homosexual that would have been more at home in a dubbed version of La Cage aux Folles.

As usual with Jess Franco films, there is a bevy of beautiful, and generally fully naked, naked on display. Franco’s muse Lina Romay shows up as an Austrian girl in a dancehall before becoming one of the Ripper’s victims, and Esther Studer, another Franco regular, also plays a victim. The oddest casting among the beauties was Josephine Chaplin as Inspector Selby’s gal pal Cynthia. Chaplin was the daughter or Charlie and just getting her start in the business. Though she did not stack up in the looks department with many of the other women, her performance was interesting, and her scene as Dr. Orloff’s vision was undoubtedly her shining moment in the film.

Jack the Ripper does not look like a Jess Franco film, but the characters sure act as if they’re in one. To my knowledge, only Franco’s film has perused the idea of Jack the Ripper as a tortured sexual deviant, and taking this spin on it and focusing primordially on Jack set it apart from the dozens of other films on the subject. Jack the Ripper was not made as a piece of historical fiction, but instead, it serves as kind of psychological examination of the speculative motivations of the Ripper. It’s not going to be a film everyone loves, but if you enjoy Franco when he’s at his best, then this is one definitely worth your time.

Bugg Rating

For the Love of Price: Laura (1944)

Some romances know not the bounds of time, space, distance, dimension, or the cinema screen. One such romance has occurred between The LBL’s Fran Goria and Vincent Price. Once in a while the pull is just too overwhelming, and Miss Goria must put pen to paper for the love of the man, for the love of his movies…..

Laura (1944)Director: Otto Preminger. Writers: Novel- Vera Caspary. Screenplay- Jay Dratler, Samuel Hoffenstien, and Elizabeth Reinhardt. Starring: Gene Tierney, Dana Andrews, Clifton Webb, Vincent Price, and Judith Anderson.

Detective Mark McPherson (Andrews) is investigating the murder of well known advertiser and socialite, Laura Hunt (Tierney). Men fall madly in love with her, and women envy her. The list of suspects include Laura’s playboy fiancé, Shelby Carpenter (Price), her crass and outspoken mentor, Waldo Lydecker (Webb), and even her rich aunt Ann Treadwell (Anderson). On the surface, they all seem like nice people, but each has an underlying streak of darkness which keeps them from being trusted. As McPherson becomes more and more enchanted by the deceased Miss Hunt, his case becomes more difficult to solve. To make matters even more complicated, Laura comes home from a vacation in the country. McPherson’s surprise to see her alive is shadowed only by Laura’s surprise to find not only that she had been murdered, but there is a strange man in her apartment. But, if Laura is alive, who was murdered in her apartment? There is still the question of who did it. McPherson will have to resort to some unorthodox means to solve this case.

Fran Goria's Thoughts

ME ME ME ME ME MEEEEEEEE……..”Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes…” oh wait, wrong film. However, Vincent Price did attend opening night of the musical The Rocky Horror Picture Show in ’75. Now with that tidbit of info out of the way, it is time to talk about something completely different.

Each year, The National film Preservation Board selects up to 25 films to be preserved on The National Film registry in The Library of Congress. These films are considered to be “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”. In 1999, Laura was selected for preservation. The 1944 film noir also won an Oscar in 1945 for Best Cinematography/Black-and-white and was nominated for 4 others. I am not surprised by the film’s honors. It was classic, beautiful, intriguing, and interesting from start to finish. The director had a clear vision of the novel. The cinematography was crisp, clear, and a joy to see. The acting was great on all parts. All of these elements, along with an original score, came together to make an extraordinary film.

Otto Preminger was voted the 47th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly. With films like The Man with the Golden Arm, Angelface, and Anatomy of a Murder under his belt, one can see why. However, due to personal issues between Preminger and studio head Darryl F. Zanuck, he almost never directed the Laura at all. Zanuck allowed Preminger to produce, but not direct, the film. Instead, Rouben Mamoulian was given the task. After a month of filming, the studio found the early rushes to be unsatisfactory. As a result, Mamoulian, the cameraman, the designer, and the extant footage (along with an unflattering painting of Laura by Mamoilian’s wife) were all scrapped. Only then was Preminger allowed to take the helm. He completed the film with the same cast and script. There were a few disagreements with Zanuck over the ending (Zanuck wanted Laura to wake up at the end with all having been a dream). Preminger’s ending won out, and Laura has become one of the most classic film noirs of all time. Vincent Price once asked Preminger why he was so much better at creating Laura then Mamoulian; His response was “Rouben only knows nice people. I understand the characters in Laura. They’re all heels, just like my friends.”

Laura also has an all star cast. Three of the four leads (Price, Tierney, and Webb) have stars on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame, as well as various wins and nominations for numerous other awards. In 1946, Dana Andrews won a Golden Apple for Most Cooperative Actor. I am a little surprised that this was the only award mention that I could find for him. He was great as the hard-boiled detective. The persona seemed to flow naturally from him. One can even pinpoint the moment when his character changed from just solving a murder, to falling in love with the idea of this woman he has never met (her death aside), to playing the hero card at the end. His entire performance was just fun. Andrews went on to star in more films, mostly of the B-movie grade. He did make an appearance in Airport ’75, and his name is in the opening theme of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. That alone is pretty awesome.

Clifton Webb was wonderful as the over-the-top, better-than-all socialite/radio personality of Waldo Lydecker. This was a roll he almost didn’t get. The studio felt his effeminate, homosexual mannerisms would keep him from pulling the character off, but after seeing his audition, they changed their minds. It’s a good thing too, because I cannot think of a better actor to fill the roll. His style was perfect for the high society type he was playing. One can almost feel his character’s obsession with Laura. His Lydecker and Price’s Carpenter worked well together in their shared scenes. The insults and bickering between the two over Laura seemed quite natural. Webb meshed well with the other actors also. He did not steal any scenes, but one got the feeling that he could if he took the notion. Webb was predominantly a Broadway actor. Although he had been a few silent films, Laura was his first “talkie“. He was recognized for his work in films like Sitting Pretty and Razor’s Edge, but is probably best known as Mr. Belvedere in a series of three films.

Another Broadway performer graced the silver screen for Laura, the Tony award winning Judith Anderson; oh excuse me, Dame Judith Anderson. She received the title in 1960 for her services to the performing arts. Anderson plays Ann Treadwell, Laura’s rich aunt. Ann Treadwell is in love with Shelby Carpenter. Not only is she one of his mistresses, but she seems to be the playboy’s sugar mama as well. Ms. Anderson played this role to a tee, but one would expect no less from such an accomplished performer. Her role was small but necessary. It did drive home a few of the plot points of the film. Dame Anderson is best known for the lead role of Broadway’s Medea, and she was great as Mrs. Danvers in Rebecca (1940); but I will always remember her as the Vulcan High Priestess in Star Trek III: the Search for Spock.

The title role of Laura went to Gene Tierney. She was a beautiful and talented actress, and her career was just taking off when Laura was filmed. Tierney went on to costar with Vincent Price in two other films (Dragonwyck and Leave Her to Heaven), and she worked with Clifton Webb in Razor’s Edge. Tierney was just lovely in the roll of Laura, the pseudo-murdered socialite. She really exuded a warmth of character that made Laura come alive (no pun intended). It’s not hard to see why all the boys love Laura, and why even her maid would do anything for her. She is the only character that does not seem to have a deep set, evil side. It’s a nice contrast to the rest of the characters.

With all this aside, there is only one reason why I’m here, and that reason is Vincent Price. Price played Shelby Carpenter, Laura’s not-so-faithful fiancee. Carpenter is a smooth talking, southern gentleman. He has the charm and chiseled good looks that drive all the girlies crazy. Perhaps this is why they give him money. Shelby really does love Laura; he just can’t be confined by her. Shelby Carpenter is a fabulous character, and Vincent price plays him brilliantly. Laura was made very early in Price’s career. This was before he became the beloved horror icon. It was even before he started getting top billing. I love Price as the spooky guy. I love his over-the-top, spirited style, but this has to be one of his best performances. With ease and confidence, Vincent Price was Shelby Carpenter, ladies man. This was pure acting, with no gimmicks or larger than life personas. This was the embodiment of a character. As I have said, I love Price as a villain, and I will always lean to his horror films, but I always find it refreshing to see a different Price from time to time. This role is defiantly a stand out in his vast career.

Laura is a wonderful film. I can see why it is considered a classic. It is a surprisingly satisfying film to watch. The slight twists and turns keep the audience suspecting everyone just as much as the detective. The story is also able to hold one’s attention consistently from the start to the bit of excitement at the end. My copy of Laura even has a DVD extra of a mini Vincent Price biography! I recommend this film to fans of Price, classics, mysteries, and anyone in between. It has absolutely earned a place as one of my favorites.

Price Rating

B.L.O.G Presents Starcrash (1978) with Caroline Munro

A few weeks back, I started my review of Halloween III by boldly stating that I didn’t care for Michael Myers. This week I’m going to go out on a further limb. I’m not really a fan of Star Wars. Sure, I liked it when I was younger, who didn’t, but as the years passed, the less I wanted to War and the more I wanted to Trek. By the time Lucas barfed up that prequel trilogy, Star Wars was all but dead to me. Yet there is something that Star Wars gave the world that I do really, really enjoy, the Star Wars rip-off. I thoroughly enjoyed Turkish Star Wars, Star Chaser, and Battle Beyond of the Stars. So when I saw that Cinema de Bizarre was offering Luigi Cozzi’s entry into the genre, Starcrash, I had to check it out.

In the place of a young farm boy, our hero is Stella Star (Caroline Munro), a smuggler that’s more Han than Luke, and along with her partner Akton (Marjoe Gortner), she makes a living salvaging whatever she can from deep space. The duo is finally caught by Chief of Police Thor (Robert Tessier) and Police Robot Elle (Hamilton Camp) and sentenced to hard labor. They get released from jail by the Galactic Emperor (Christopher Plummer) to aid in finding a missing ship which had been attacked by Count Zarth Arn’s (Joe Spinelli) forces. The Emperor dispatches the duo along with Thor and Elle to discover what secret weapon Zarth Arn is wielding and to see if his son, Simon (David Hasselhoff) had survived the attack. Along the way they must battle Amazons, giant robots, and roving bands of Neanderthals before facing off against Zarth Arn with the fate of a galaxy on the line.

From the very first frame of Starcrash you know two things about this film. First, you get an extended shot of a huge space frigate floating along so there’s no mistaking exactly what they were ripping off. This is followed shortly by a block of floating text (French in the version I watched) detailing the back-story of the conflict between the Emperor and Zarth Arn. Secondly, from how terrible the effects are, you get an idea of how fast this film was turned out to capitalize on Star Wars mania. Not only does the ship in space look bad, but when it’s attacked by Zarth Arn’s secret weapon, which shows up as a globulous red overlay inside the ship, all I could think was that they were being attacked by the light show operator from the Fillmore East. (That was a joke for people over the age of 50 more than likely, but I like it so I’m keeping it.) The effects never get better, but it kind of adds to the campy majesty that is Starcrash.

Of course, we’re here today because of the star of the film, Miss Stella Star herself, Caroline Munro. If ever there was a woman who more deserved to be inducted into the ranks of the Beautiful Ladies of Genre, then I don’t know who that is. Munro started her career as a model and made her leap to the big screen with an un-credited part in 1967’s Casino Royale. The first big role she landed was that of the deceased wife of Vincent Price’s Dr Phibes, and she followed that up with a spot of Hammer horror, Captain Kronus- Vampire Hunter. It was her role in the 1977 James Bond film The Spy who Loved Me that brought her to wide attention. In that film she played the evil assassin Naomi, the first woman ever verifiably killed by James Bond. Then in 1978 came Starcrash. Stella Star is of course there to be our hero, and to provide something for the fellas to look at as well. This is made quite clear when she’s sent to prison in her converted bathing suit outfit and knee high leather boots while her fellow prisoners are dressed in rags. Her performance is just what it should be. She plays it serious, and with campy material like this, that’s exactly what it called for. After Starcrash, Munro would continue in genre work. She made a pair or films, Maniac and The Last Horror Show, with her Starcrash co-star Joe Spinelli, Paul Nachy’s 1987 film Howl of the Devil, and reunited with Cozzi for 1989’s The Black Cat before she all but retired from the business to focus on her family and children.

While Munro is the reason we’re talking about Starcrash today, she’s, by far, not the only noteworthy performer on hand. Personally, I have a soft spot for the lesser films of Marjoe Gortner. I discussed Gortner's childhood as an evangelist in an earlier review of Mausoleum so I won’t rehash that here. Gortner has a unique look about him, and he was perfect casting for Stella Star’s sidekick with mysterious powers, Akton. Gortner is also only one of three actors (the others being Chris Plummer and The Hoff) who dubbed their own voice for the film. While it would be a year later in 1979’s When You Comin’ Back, Red Ryder? that Gortner would give his best performance, Gortner is as entertaining to watch as ever in Starcrash.

The supporting cast is a verifiable “who’s who” of people that it’s hard to believe appear in this film. Let’s start with Christopher Plummer. Now Plummer would go on appear another of my favorite science fiction movies when he showed up as General Chang in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but he’s probably best known for his turn as Baron Von Trapp in The Sound of Music (1965). Plummer has never been snobby about appearing in mainstream and genre film work, and that’s something I really respect in an actor. In Starcrash, he has very limited screen time, once appearing only as a hologram, but he brings gravitas the role of the Space Emperor which was probably much needed.

Next up, Joe Spinelli, which horror fans will know from the aforementioned films Maniac and The Last Horror Film, shows up as the Emperors’ nemesis Darth Arn. Wait did I say Darth? I, of course, meant Zarth. Anyhow, Spinelli plays Zarth Arn with relentless over the top gusto all the while looking like Ming the Merciless’ ugly brother. I have to admit that every time he hit the screen I giggled a bit, but this is the kind of film that will have you laughing already so one more won’t hurt. Chief of Police Thor played by Robert Tessier might be a familiar face as well. He’s done a ton of character work over the years, and he began his career with a role in the first Billy Jack film 1967’s the Born Losers. Over the years he also appeared with Charles Bronson in Hard Times, as the Dutchman in the 1967 Doc Savage movie, and in Peter Yate’s The Deep. Meanwhile his sidekick, Police Robot Elle was voiced by Hamilton Camp best known for his character roles and providing voices on the cartoon Duck Tales. Whose choice it was to make Elle a robot with a southern accent is anyone’s guess, but I could not have enjoyed it more. I mean how can you not like a robot that sounds like a hick saying things like, “Is time for a little robot chauvinism.”? Classic, I tell you.

Now I haven’t mentioned one person in this cast because his role doesn’t come in until the last third of the film, but what a treat to see a young, pre-Knight Rider David Hasselhoff hamming it up as only The Hoff can do. Long before he was lounging around shirtless eating burgers, he appeared in a couple of low budget features including Starcrash and 1976’s Revenge of the Cheerleaders (where he’s credited as Boner making it a must see). Hasselhoff is exactly what you would expect from him. He’s younger, but his acting was no better. Still, I bet his appearance in the film somehow made this flick huge in Germany.

All in all, Starcrash is a Star Wars rip off that didn’t even take the fact that it was a rip off too seriously. It manages to be funny, both intentionally and accidentally, have some good old fashioned cheesy effects, and entertain for ninety solid minutes. I found the film overall to be worthy of a recommendation, but don’t go into this film expecting to see a masterpiece. If you do, you’ll find yourself disappointed. What you’re going to get is a campy, stupid, cut rate space opera that if taken on face value will deliver no more than it promises. If given the choice between watching a Star Wars film or Starcrash, it would be a pretty easy choice. Well, except then I’d remember how much I like Empire. I suppose a double feature would be on tap then.

Bugg Rating

I, Madman (1989)- Reading Might Be Fundamental, But It Can Be Murder!

Once again, it’s time to throw open the video tape vaults here at the Lair and delve into another diabolical selection from the world of VHS. That’s right; it’s time for another thrilling installment of It Came From Video Tape. Today’s selection, I, Madman, is one that I recall staring at me from the racks of my local video emporium, and now that I got my hands on a copy, I cold not resist firing up the old VCR and giving it a whirl. Plus, I love things that start with I and a Comma, I, Robot (Asimov’s book not Will Smith’s travesty), Christopher Lee’s I, Monster, and the British mini-series I, Claudius come to mind. So with a name like I, Madman and the director of The Gate at the helm, it’s time to press play and see if I‘ll be a happy Bugg or if it ends up with me being I, Mad Man.

Virginia (Jenny Wright) just can’t get enough of Malcolm Brand’s books. After reading his first novel, Much of Madness, More of Sin, she scours the used bookstore she works in to find his other tome, I, Madman. She can’t find it, but when she comes home from acting class, she finds a package containing the book on her doorstep. Virginia can’t put the book down much to the chagrin of her boyfriend Richard (Clayton Rohner). She is deeply disturbed by the book, but can’t get enough of the story of the demented Doctor Kessler. In the book, Kessler is harvesting facial features to make himself more attractive to a girl who says he is ugly. As Virginia gets deeper into the book, the book gets deeper into her world. Murders that are eerily similar to the ones Virginia reads about begin to happen around her, and Virginia begins to be stalked by a man she believes to be Dr Kessler.

Apart from a few supporting players that stumble in their roles, I found I, Madman to be a highly entertaining film. While it doesn’t ever rise too far above the average, it contains an entertaining mystery, some bloody murders, and a trio of solid performances from the lead actors. I, Madman was the follow up to director Tibor Takács’ demons in suburbia film, The Gate. I saw The Gate years ago, and I can’t quite recall what I thought about that one so unfortunately I can’t comment on if this one was better. Takács brought the script by writer David Caskin (Nightmare on Elm Street 2, The Curse) to the screen with exceptional style, and I really liked how it seamlessly moved from 1989 Los Angeles to the noir world of the book. The film has a quality that felt like what might have happened if Dashiell Hammett and Steven King had a baby and it wrote a book. Sure, it would be ugly as hell, but the book it could write would combine horror, suspense, and paranoia with a helping of detective fiction.

While Takács directed the film with a steady hand and it has its share of cinematic tricks that kept me wondering what would happen next, the film really shines when it comes to the acting. Jenny Wright’s Virginia is a fascinating heroine, and she never comes off as weak or corny. While everyone else thinks she’s off her rocker, she continues her amateur investigation without pause. She also looks pretty good doing it, and her first appearance in a nightie and lace panties instantly grabbed my attention. Wright is probably best known for her role as Mae in the excellent 1987 neo-vampire flick Near Dark, but she also starred in such cult gems as 1989’s Twister with Crispin Glover, the Michael Caine thriller A Shock to the System, and, less impressively, The Lawnmower Man. While Near Dark has all right to be her best known film, I, Madman deserves a special spot on her résumé.

It took me some time to place her co-star Clayton Rohner. Turns out that my geek knowledge paid off, and I realized that he had played an Admiral that aged backwards on an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Meanwhile, my wife who was watching this with me pulled out even more geek knowledge when she pegged him as appearing on an episode of Joss Whedon’s Doll House. Rohner was very good in the film, but I would have to say that playing a cop is not his strong suit. The scenes where he was less cop and more boyfriend were much better overall. He also has a seriously hair sprayed coif in parts of this film, and at one point, I feel certain it extended four inches straight from the front of his head.

Really putting on a show was Randall William Cook, a man usually known more for doing effects than being them. A couple of years back Cook picked up an Oscar for his special effects work on Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, but someone should have given him some kind of award for his intensely creepy role as the psycho from literature. Cook also headed up the make-up department, and he did a hell of a job with the Kessler makeup that goes from a featureless gruesomeness to an even freakier look later in the film. I’m glad they held off on the reveal of the character in full until the climatic scene as it added to the mystique. While Kessler is not a character that could or should have returned for sequels (even though the cover of Fangoria featuring this film read “Move Over Freddy"), he is a character I will not soon forget. I also have to mention that Cook provided some really cool looking stop animation for this film, and it made me happy seeing practical effects done with such style.

At one point in the film, Virginia describes Malcolm Brand’s book by saying it “makes Steven King read like Mother Goose. It’s horrific, but passionate like Poe.” While the film never reaches such a horrific height as she describes, it surely stands out among a sea of mediocre films from the same era. For a night of literary horrors, may I suggest throwing on Tenebre, I, Madman, and In the Mouth of Madness for a triple features of books exacting horror on real life. While I, Madman may be the lesser of the three films, I think you’ll find it an entertaining and all but forgotten film. So check it out. It just goes to show again that you never know what you’ll get when It Came From Video Tape.

Bugg Rating

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Netherworld (1992)- I Wish It Has Been Called Never-See-It-World

When you put in a DVD and the Full Moon Pictures logo comes up, you generally know what you’re going to get. Sure, occasionally there’s a Puppet Master or Trancers, but just as often, you end up wondering why you’re watching Evil Bong II or Mandroid. Now I’m not saying their movies are all bad, but their track record is not astoundingly brilliant. Still, I was cruising the virtual racks of Netflix and came across David Schmoeller’s 1992 film Netherworld, and I decided to give it a shot even with the Full Moon label on it. After all Schmoeller had made two of my favorite Full Moon flicks with the aforementioned Puppet Master and the Kinski in lipstick classic Crawlspace. I also have a soft spot for films set in Louisiana as long time readers will know. So I put it in the queue, I moved it to the top, and I awaited the red envelope with a strange mixture of high expectations and dread. At least I had one of those emotions was right.

Netherworld is the story of Corey Thornton (Michael Bendetti), a typical early nineties guy with a typical half mullet full of L.A. Looks gel. When his father dies, he inherits dear old dad’s massive home located in the backwaters of the Louisiana countryside. From the moment he arrives and is greeted by lawyer Beauregard Yates Esq. (Robert Burr) who is dressed in a powder blue suit paired with black leather fingerless gloves, Corey starts to get a strange feeling. Arriving at the house after meeting the caretaker and her jailbait daughter, Corey receives his father’s diary from the lawyer. When he sits down to read it, he discovers that his father had become obsessed with a prostitute named Delores (Denise Gentile) who has the power to bring people back to life and works at the nearby bar, Tonk’s. The elder Thornton wants to bring himself back after his own death with her powers. Corey quickly becomes obsessed with Delores, and he goes straight to Tonk’s. There he meets a variety of oddball characters, and even though people are being murdered by a mysterious flying stone hand and people all but tell him, Corey doesn’t seem to get the drift that the whorehouse is actually a front for a coven of witches.

The script for Netherworld was written by Schmoeller and Charles Band, head honcho of Full Moon, and it just could not have made less sense. At different points at the film I debated if this movie was supposed to be horror, a tongue in cheek comedy, or intentionally terrible. In the end, I never could decide. It’s hard for me to believe that Schmoeller, who has done some great things, and Band, whose has had his share of good ideas, would have intentionally put together a film in such a slapdash way. This is the kind of film that makes Plan 9 look like Citizen Kane. Netherworld started strong, and its first 10 minutes intrigued me. The big haired prostitute Delores was being raped and the flying stone hand kills the crap out of the rapist. Sure, the effects were bad, but it was atmospheric and pretty effective. The problem is that the rest of the film didn’t have the same tone at all. There was a good idea here, but somewhere between either the idea stage and the page or the translation from page to screen something went horribly wrong.

The acting really was not helping matters. Michael Bendetti is best known for his year run on 21 Jump Street as Officer Mac McCann, but unlike his Jump Street co-star Johnny Depp, Bendetti left the show to do Netherworld and a couple episodes of Red shoe Diaries before fading into obscurity. There’s nothing in Netherworld that is going to send anyone into fervor for a comeback. Bendetti seems to have two expressions, confused and “huh, is the camera on?” and neither impresses. I wish I had more to say about Mr. Bendetti, but he really leaves very little mark on the film, but I bet that with all that gel in his hair he leaves quite a mark on his pillow.

The rest of the cast fares little better. As the large haired mystical hooker Delores, Denise Gentile definitely looked the part, and she is probably the best actor in the film. Not that that’s something you would want to brag about. Twenty six year old Holly Floria who plays the caretaker’s “jailbait” daughter was terrible casting to say the least, but at least she was not terrible. Floria even ended up with a job after Netherworld when she landed a role on the syndicated TV show Acapulco H.E.A.T. The few other characters that seemed interesting at all didn’t get enough screen time to make a difference. Robert Burr’s lawyer with the deformed hands and strange fashion sense, I wanted more of him. George Kelly as town drunk/ psycho Bijou, I wanted a whole film about that nutter. I would have even settled for more time with Billy C., the bottle-twirling bartender played by director Schmoeller.

Just a couple more things, and they're more questions than comments. How can you have a movie about witchcraft wielding hookers that contains no nudity? Also, if you're going to have a woman playing a prostitute who claims to be Marilyn Monroe brought back to life, can't you hire someone who doesn't have a face like a foot? I'm just saying. Netherworld is bad. Not the worst film I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely going to get a solid ‘1’. Unless you have a desire to work yourself though all the Full Moon releases, this is one you never need to watch. I would seriously recommend Evil Bong II and Mandroid before I would this one. So enter at your own risk. You may not end up in the Netherworld, but you will wish that you had spent the last 90 minutes in some other dimension.

Bugg Rating