Holy cow, Fulciuary seems like such a short month. I can’t believe we’ve already spent 4 weeks with the Godfather of Gore. We put on our legwarmers for Murder Rock, visited a little town called Dunwich in City of the Living Dead, and quacked up at New York Ripper. This week we’re looking at a film released the same year as Ripper and maintaining the Big Apple setting. It’s perhaps one of Fulci’s most divisive films, and so I felt it would be perfect to end this month with Lucio being as much a mystery as when we began. So what is this film called? Cabin Boy? Nope that’s not it. Encino Man? Surely not! Jersey Girl? What? Jersey? How dare you this is….

Susie Hacker (Boccoli) has accompanied her father and mother, George and Emily (Connelly and Taylor), to Egypt. There George seeks to discover the ancient mystery of a forbidden tomb. As George explores the depths, blue beams emanating from a jewel in tomb’s wall blind him. Meanwhile, Susan accepts a strange medallion in the shape of a blue eye from a blind woman who promptly vanishes before her eyes.

On their return from Egypt, George finds little comfort in his doctor’s assurance that his blindness will only be temporary. Soon the family’s home is plagued be scorpions and snakes which appear out of thin air, and after their son Tommy goes missing, the parents learn the amulet has given the children access to another dimension. It’s not long before strange deaths begin to happen around them, and the children’s nanny comes up missing. With nowhere left to turn and believing an Egyptian spirit possesses their daughter, the Hacker’s must seek help from creepy occultist Adrian Mercato (Cineri).

--Lucio Fulci shows up in a brief cameo appearance as Dr. Forrester.

--Edward Mannix, a professional voiceover actor, provided the voice for Adrian Mercato. He has also done voice work in Yor, the Hunter from the Future, Golgo 13, and in five other films by Fulci including the voice of Jack Hedley’s Lt. Williams in New York Ripper.

--Manhattan Baby is also known as Evil Eye, Eye of the Living Dead, and The Possessed.

The Bug Speaks

How shocked was I when a film called Manhattan Baby, by an Italian director, did not open with an establishing shot of NYC. Instead, we are treated to some very nice location work in Cairo, Egypt. Lucio working with Cinematographer Guglielmo Mancori had full command of the camera in these locations. Mancori and Fulci had collaborated before, but not since working on the comedies The Masseuses and The Strange Type in the early ’60’s. In the interim, Mancori had lensed many a horror flick and a fair share of spaghetti westerns. The latter may account for the stunning shots of the desert locales.

Most Fulci movies suffer from uneven performances, but for the most part, I found the cast to be very good in Manhattan Baby. Christopher Connelly, of Peyton Place fame, gives a solid performance throughout as the tortured father. While Martha Taylor, in her single film role, manages to bring across some wild emotions without ever stepping over the edge of self-parody. The real remarkable thing is the performance of Brigitta Boccoli. She was a young actress in her first role and the linchpin of the film. This is a role that could have been totally botched, but Boccoli’s Susan is believable during all stages of the ordeal. The most shocking this of all is Giovanni Frezza, most recognized as the endlessly screechy Bob of The House by Cemetery, is dubbed slightly better here, and I didn’t have to mute the sound each time he opened his mouth.

Welcome back folks to another week of celebrating those Beautiful Ladies of Genre. This week I have a lady whose picture should be next to the words genre actress in the dictionary. When you've made a career starring in films like Roller Blade Warriors, Bride of Re-Animator, Final Impact, and 4 films with Lorenzo Lamas, in my book you've earned your wings. That's why this week we're here to discuss the delectable Ms.....

After doing one episode of the short lived Lee Van Clef series, Master Ninja (1984), Kathleen got her first real break as "Pretty Skater" in 1984's Hardbodies. This would kick off a career which is still going strong. Last year she played one of the leads in Danielle Harris' (of Urban Legend and Halloween remake fame) directorial debut, Prank. Back in 1988, Kathleen was coming off a role as Party Guest #5 in Winner Takes All when she had the defining year of her genre career. She was cast as Kelly Meeker in Halloween 4:The Return of Michael Myers, but we're not here to talk about that film. I want to talk about the other film she made in 1988. It's full of bad ass chicks, big ass guns, and tiny, tiny outfits. Ladies and Gents, I give you.....

In the not so distant future, nuclear war was on the verge of being avoided when countries began to lash out with biological warfare. All the men on the planet perished and few of the women managed to survive. Those that did have formed tribes, and the most powerful all of them is lead by the Reverend Mother (Howard), an ancient woman kept alive by machines. Under her rule she keeps a stock of "breeders", girls used to repopulate the female species through artificial means. When one of the "breeders", Keela (McIntaggart) escapes while pregnant with a male child, the Reverend will stop at nothing to get her back.

The Reverend Mother calls on the services of Cobalt (Khambatta) and her team of bounty hunters to find the girl. Cobalt plans for it to be an easy task, but Keela comes under the protection of the deadly and beautiful Phoenix the Warrior (Kinmont). Living on the run, Keela gives birth to the child, Skyler, and the trio make their way for safety in the Badlands. On their way, they meet and enlist the aid of the last man on Earth, Guy (Emory), but with Cobalt and her crew drawing ever nearer, the Badlands still out of reach, and the Reverend Mother's clutches tightening, it will take everything Phoenix has to rise again and save them all. 

--Director Robert Hayes has only directed one other feature film 2001's Task Force 2001, but he has had a long career as a camera man and cinematographer for films such as Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, Trancers II, and Grand Theft Parsons.

--Peggy McIntaggart would go on to become Playboy Playmate of the month in January of 1990. That same year she would also appear in the Dario Argento segment "The Black Cat" in Two Evil Eyes. 

--Dan Radlauer provided the film score. He now composes the music for VH1 shows such as Flavor of Love, For the Love of Ray J, Hogan Knows Best, and My Fair Brady. Phoenix the Warrior was his first film. 

Phoenix the Warrior (a.k.a She Wolves of the Wasteland) is one of the best ways one could spend an afternoon. This campy romp, which was obviously some kind of inspired cross breed between Conan, Commando, and The Road Warrior, succeeds on so many levels. Well, let me qualify that. It succeeds on so many levels if you love trashy, poorly made and acted, garbage films from the 1980's. It just so happens that I really do, and it doesn't hurt that all the ladies are dressed like they just got off work at the Thunderdome's strip club.

The film really kicks off well with a dune buggy chase right out of the gate, and it really doesn't let up. With only an 85 minute running time, they manage to make the most of each minute of footage. Any by most I mean the most shooting. There is a bevy of scantily clad women letting loose with giant automatic rifles and shotguns. (At times all I could think of was the "Chicks with Guns" video from Jackie Brown.) As I've said before, the outfits the ladies wear leaves little to the imagination, but what little it leaves will have to stay that way. Unfortunately, neither of the lead actresses show any skin, and the nudity is reduced to only 2 quick scenes which comes as quite a surprise for the type of film this is. 

The performances ranged from mediocre to bad, and the fight scenes ranged from bad to worse. All that being said, I don't know if there was a single moment where I did not enjoy both of them. The real treat for me was seeing Persis Khambatta in another role. As a long time Trek fan, I'd often wondered if she did any more films. Turns out she has, and with hair she is 100% more stunning than in one frame of ST:TMP. (Turns out she was also in the 1981 Stallone/ Billy Dee flick Nighthawks.) She was arguably the best actress in the film, but it's kind of like arguing which beer to drink out of a six pack first. They're all about the same. 

So I've said some pretty bad things about this film. I've managed to slam the acting, stunts, directing...hmmm, I didn't do directing? Well let's assume I had and it wasn't very good. Yet the thing this movie had that I liked was fun. Post-apocalyptic mutants using the TV Guide as a religious text.  Gladiator style fights where Phoenix is given a shield that is very obviously a bulletin board to defend herself. The casting  of a kid named Skyler and then calling his character Skyler (perhaps so he wont forget his name, I mean he had no lines and he was supposed to be 5. For whatever reason all these bad things all ended up making this a great film, and just the kind of thing that got me into cult movies in the first place. They don't all have to be good, but if it ain't good, then it better be damn entertaining. 

No trailer, but here's a clip of a Gladiatorial Showdown

There are some movies that you just kick yourself for missing. Then you try and track them down and they become elusive. There’re the movies that you want to watch, that you can’t wait for, and you would if only someone would cooperate and make it available. Tonight’s film is one of these. I’ve been on the lookout for this one for a long time ,and thanks to our friends at Cinema De Bizarre, I finally got to see it (Don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter over there at CDB). So without further ado, here’s a flick that I hope will thrill you as much as it

 thrilled me!

It’s 1959 and a young couple, Pam and Johnny, ignoring the warning on the radio about an escaped axe murderer, go parking on lover’s lane. They get rousted out of their spot by a cop, her ex-boyfriend Ray. As they drive away there’s a flash of light overhead and Johnny gets out to investigate leaving Pam in the car. He finds a strange tube in the woods, and as he investigates a slug leaps from it and right down his throat.

Then it’s 1986 and Pledge Week on campus at Corman University. Freshmen dorks, J.C. and Chris (Marshall and Lively) are out checking out the parties when Chris spies the ravishing Cindy (Whitlow). He would do anything to get near her, but Chris know this means he has to get into a fraternity. He tries to pledge Beta, but first he must pass the initiation. Chris must retrieve a body from the morgue and deposit it on a rival fraternity’s steps.

J.C. and Chris go to get the body, but they stumble on to something far stranger. They find Johnny’s body has been cryogenically frozen, and they attempt to steal it. On they’re way out it grabs at Chris’ arm and the two drop the body and take off. The body has a mind of its own and makes its way back to Sorority row, but he hasn’t come alone. He’s got a head full of Alien slugs that want to put the life back into the afterlife.

--The characters all have names which are nods to horror film legends, Chris Romeo, John Carpenter Hooper, Cindy Cronenburg, and Detectives Savini, Landis, and Cameron. The name of the university they attend, Corman College, is a nod to Roger Corman.

--Fred Dekker also helmed The Monster Squad (1987) and Robocop 3 (1993).

--Tom Atkins is the man. (Not debatable, that’s why it’s a film fact.), and he started in genre pictures with 1980’s The Fog.

I feel a bit like I’m way behind just getting to see this one. So it will come to no surprise to anyone who has seen this film that it is great. I really wish I had seen it when I was younger. If I had seen this back when I was 12 or 13, this probably would have been one of my favorite films ever. As it is, it’s one that will bring me back for many more viewings, and I think the perfect film to throw on while people are over.

What NOTC does as good, if not better, than other horror/comedies like Shawn of the Dead or Evil Dead 2, is walk that narrow tightrope between the two. This flick manages to lampoon the genre without falling back on broad humor or direct parody, and all the while build on a basis of a John Hughes film. There’s so many ways it could go wrong. Lively and Marshall were a great pairing, and it’s too bad they both seem to have limited careers. Their chemistry and line delivery (“oh God, oh, God, oh God“) bring the perfect kind of humor to the proceedings. When you add in the presence of Tom Atkins as Detective Ray “Thrill Me” Cameron, the film kicks into gear and goes from good to great. The infinitely quotable script, also by director Dekker, is well paced and keeps the movie moving briskly.

During the midst of the one liners, there is a pretty fair amount of the red stuff flowing. Slug zombies get wasted in a variety of ways including a very wonderful scene with a lawn mower. When you’ve got Tom Atkins saying things like, “What I’m gonna need is your standard flamethrower.” you know where this movie is headed.

Usually when someone sets out to specifically create a cult film, it falls flat. This time, as with Dekker’s follow up The Monster Squad, the way the source material is used makes the difference. Each of those films comes from a place of cult movie fandom; so, for genre film fans, these films have an instant draw. All the same, the humor alone will sell many non-horror loving people in your life. So pick this one up, watch it alone or invite a few friends over, either way it’s a great film and a must see. 

Hello folks. It’s the last week of February all ready, but don’t fret. I still have lots of great stuff left this week, and tons more planned for March. Today I’m covering another movie that I bought from the great folks over at Cinema de Bizarre, and if you haven’t gone over there to check their stock out, you really owe it to yourself to do so. 

While you’re there sign up for their bi-monthly newsletter, and not only will you get the scoop on all their newest finds, you’ll also get exclusive content from the Bugg. That’s right! Starting with the March newsletter you’ll be able to find out what I think of some of the new titles from Cinema de Bizarre in my section “De Bizarre World of T.L. Bugg”. Sign up now to get in on the March newsletter, and when you order from those fine folks, make sure you let them know the Bugg sent you. 

Now on with the show, and I tackle my first Poliziotteschi title when we take a trip to….

Comissionario Betti (Marli) is the very definition of a loose cannon. He’s a cop with his own methods and his own morals, and they don’t parallel with the wishes of his superiors. After his brother was killed during the commission of a crime, Betti started to take every crime he gets involved in personally, and he will stop at nothing to catch the thugs involved. During a particularly bloody attempt to stop a bank robbery, Betti’s Special Branch friend Biondi (Lovelock) is shot and paralyzed. Consumed with anger, Betti chases down the perpetrator and shoots him down in cold blood. 

The shooting was deemed unjustified. Betti is let go from the force but, he soon finds another way to dispatch criminals and deal out his brand of justice. He is approached by Attorney Sartori (Conte) and many other members of the community who have banded together to form an extremely militant neighborhood watch. Once Betti joins their ranks, he brings the war against crime to the streets of violent Rome, and criminals have nowhere to run. 

--Maurizio Marli rose to fame in the movies because of similar appearance to Franco Nero. 

--Marli and Comissionario Betti returned in two sequels to this film, 1976’s Violent Naples (directed by Umberto Lenzi) and A Special Cop in Action again with Girolami.

--This was the last film for actor Richard Conte. He was probably best known as Don Barzini in The Godfather. 

This being my very first Poliziotteschi, I want to say right off that I’m already tired of spelling that word. So from henceforth, I’ll go with Italo-crime since I won’t have to look up how to spell it each time. For an introduction to the genre this was a pretty good film, but I definitely had some issues with it as well. It was packed with action, car chases, and fistfights, but it was lacking in the kind of cohesive narrative I felt it needed.

I‘m going to start with my problem first since I like most of this film very much. The way the film was laid out, and the pacing of the flick made it feel positively episodic. In fact, so much so, I wondered if I was watching some kind of prehistoric crossbreed of The Shield and Dragnet. There were very defined segments to the film which basically break down to 1) Betti‘s a Badass, 2) Betti‘s In Trouble Now!, 3) Betti Meets Some New Friends, and 4) Betti‘s Final Showdown. With such clean breaks between each one, each has the flavor of a continuing story, but it feels like it has problems coming together as a film. This may be due to each segment being about 15 minutes of plot development and 15 minutes of chasing/ fighting/shooting/etc. 

With that gripe out of the way, I get to spend the rest of this review talking about what I really liked about this film, and there's a lot to say.  There’s no better place to start that than with the film’s star, Maurizio Marli. I really liked the character of Betti, and found the man very fascinating, although obviously cut from a similar cloth as “Dirty“Harry Callahan. Betti is multilayered and his justification for violating civil rights “in order to protect freedom”  conjures just the right set up for Betti's dogged, righteous insanity. I have this feeling that Betti and the Batman might have some common ground, but decidedly different tailors. 

Marli's wasn’t the only great performance in the film (although his mustache deserved its own mention in the credits). Ray Lovelock (recently seen on The Lair in Murder Rock) does a really fine job in a fairly small role. Lovelock only shows up a few times in the film as Betti's undercover pal. His scenes with Marli easily define the men’s relationship, and in the end, it does seem the men are extremely close. Richard Conte also brings it strong as the lawyer turned crime fighter. The scene where he is held captive and made to watch his daughter being raped is every bit as brutal as the similar scene in Clockwork Orange. 

Violent Rome also features a kick ass soundtrack by veteran composers The De Angelis Brothers. They have scored many films (including a Bugg favorite At the Mountain of the Cannibal God) and this time they made full use of funk and disco vibes in the composition. In fact there are so many seventies flourishes, the theme song manages to out flute even the mighty Jethro Tull. Cinematographer Fauto Zuccoli would lens the whole of the Betti trilogy, and he gave this film a very gritty look while maintaining a very real feeling. He doesn’t get much help from the foley sound men here though. The fight scenes are packed with irrationally loud smacks as fists fly. It’s really kind of too bad; while it adds to the cheese factor, it kind of detracts from the appearance of the dangerous city to be filled with cartoonish sounding violence. 

So with only a couple of detractions, I found this movie to be a great introduction into the Italio-crime genre. Yet I feel I haven't properly conveyed the flavor of this film. It also delivers a gang brawl in a rug warehouse that ranks as one of my favorite mass fight scenes, and then the the tale of an undercover cop dressed like a grandma to take down a gang of purse snatchers. However while these distractions are entertaining, they add to the episodic feeling. I will definitely be checking out the further adventures of Betti, and I really encourage you folks to do the same.After all, anywhere you go around the world there is crime, but only in Italy do their cops say ”Chow”, and dress so well, and act so suave. 

No Trailer, but heres a clip that is appropriately titled, Slapping out Justice. 

I'd like to get an exact count on how many Italian movies open with a shot of the New York Harbor. I know it's very nice to get your panoramic skylines and all, but are these few shots of the Big Apple really going to convince us that the rest of the film was shot on location? Or is this just the shorthand they used to introduce the first character, the city. In the early '80's, New York city was still recovering from the Son of Sam murders when tonight's film filled with sadistic excess came to the screen. After the opening shot of the harbor, we see a man playing with his dog. He tosses the dog's toy, and it returns with a hand in it's mouth. The screen freezes and reads....

A killer stalks the city. A killer preying on young women. A killer that sounds like a duck. It's up to hypocrite cop Fred Williams (Headly) to get to the bottom of it. Accompanied by psychologist Paul Davis (Marco), Williams soon find himself embroiled in the seedy, sexual world of the killer as each killing becomes more and more depraved. False leads and false suspects block Williams' path, but he will stop at nothing to get the Ripper off the streets.

  --When the film was censored by the British Censors in 1984, the man in charge ordered the film's print to be immediately escorted to the airport and removed from the country.

--The lead female part was offered to Catriona MacColl who had worked with Fulci on The Beyond, City of the Living Dead, and House by the Cemetery. 

--Speaking of breaking up streaks, this film also did not include work from Fulci regulars composer Fabio Frizzi,  cinematographer Sergio Salvati, and special effects artist Giannetto De Rossi.

You know what's a good way to start your day? Get up, find there's nothing for breakfast, have a smoke, and then put on New York Ripper. Not only will the killer quacking like a duck bring a smile to your face, but you'll leave the house with an optimistic feeling about the whole world. Wait, did I say good way and optimistic and smile? My mistake. What I mean is that you won't want to leave your house, you'll feel a bleak emptiness, and I doubt you'll be smiling. New York Ripper is one brutal movie filled with the kind of graphic violence that we've come to expect from Fulci, and yet this one is a different beast with it's own special impact. 

Let's get a couple of the more infamous elements out in the open right off the bat. First off, some say the film is implicitly misogynistic. While I can say it can be construed that way, the killer has his own demented reasons for his  stalking and killing of women, and they are never defended. Lt. Williams surely has reprehensible behavior toward females, but I never felt him a sympathetic character. That really hits closer to why I can't accept the label for the film. There really are not any characters who are not portrayed as deeply flawed and troubled individuals. Men, Women, all shown in their worst light with no holds barred.

The second thing that springs to the mind of most folks when they think about this film is the level of violence. The style to this film is very gritty and raw, and the killing reflects that vision. While we get warmed up with a little throat cutting, it's not long until the Ripper graduates to broken bottles, cutting nipples. and the carving out of eyeballs. Yes, that's right. Fulci is back at it with the eyes in this one, and while I still enjoy the splinter to the eyeball of Zombi 2 better, this scene is nothing to sneeze at. The difference in the violence is fully on display in this scene. While Fulci's movies like City of the Dead relied on the over the top gross out, New York Ripper survives on acute realism that turns the stomach. 

All the acting in this movie is fine, but there is one particular standout. Alessandra Delli Colli really does something special in her scenes as the swinging, open marriage, wife Jane Lodge. The pain she wore in her eyes made the scenes of sexuality more intense. The most harrowing of the erotic scenes in the film has to do with Jane being fondled under the table by a stranger's foot. Yeah this is a film that goes to some strange places. Yet what else could you expect from a movie with a quacking killer? I'm not even sure what to say about the Donald Duck killer. At first it seemed kind of amusing, but when juxtaposed against the violent murders, it does tend to enhance the image of a deranged personality. 

On the whole, this is a more than decent late era giallo. The plot contains some decent twists, and the characters are quirky enough to capture the imagination. When these pieces are added to the bleak nihilist feeling, the tortured victims, and sexual perversion, what you've got is a pretty interesting piece of sleaze. This may not suit fans who only like the supernatural Fulci, and may be disappointed at the more straightforward story. Personally it easily goes into the top two or three Fulci films for me, so check it out. 

When we look at cult movies there's sub-genres within sub-genres. That's what's so great about them, peeling back the layers of what cult film is. Well out of all the derivations of cult movies the Ladies have found one that is rarely mentioned. So I Invite you to read on as The Ladies of the Lair explore the weird world of Bobsplitation. 

Hearts of Fire (1987) starring Bob Dylan, Rupert Everett, and Fiona. Directed by Richard Marquand. Written by Joe Eszterhas. 

Hearts of Fire is a feel good rock film with an eighties flair. It’s about a girl named Molly (Fiona) who is an aspiring musician. One night while performing cover songs in a local bar, she meets retired rocker Billy Parker (Dylan). Billy invites Molly to accompany him to London where he takes her under his wing to help with her music career. While there, she meets her favorite, has been pop star James Colt (Everett). As Molly’s career begins to take off, a love triangle emerges, and she learns that fame is not all that it seems. 

Tid Bits

--Richard Marquand also directed Return of the Jedi. Hearts of Fire was his last film and it was released posthumously. It was rumored that Eszterhas script was so mad it killed the director. 

--Eszterhas also wrote the scripts for Flashdance, Basic Instinct, and the all time classic Showgirls.

--Fiona was a musician with four albums being released between 1985 and 1992. She was a guest on Warrant’s Cherry Pie album, and she appeared in two episodes of Miami Vice.

Hearts of Fire was meant to jump start her career. 

The script was deplorable, the plot was thin, and the acting was questionable at best. With that being said, it was fantastic! Comedy gold! This movie contains an endless supply of one-liners and a fistfight that you’ll just have to tell your friends about. There was even some blood! OK, so it was just a tiny amount, but it splattered and I was happy to see it.

Now, I am not as big a fan of Dylan as Ms Directed. Nobody is, but he was the best part of the film. There was a bit in the middle without Dylan in it, and it was not nearly as entertaining as the rest of the film. Bob Dylan’s Character is pretty much what I would expect him to be in real life, a little disconnected, a little weird, and lots of fun. 

Rupert Everett as a pop star is kind of laughable, but it’s still more believable than Fiona. He even sang his own pop songs and performed them complete with eye liner and spirit fingers. The film also contains several rock star cameos.

On a side note, the movie was rated ’R’, but I’m not sure why. Yes there was a small amount of blood, but only for a second. And yes, we did see Fiona topless, but it was kind of like looking at a dude. All in all, I don’ think that an ’R’ was warranted.

I did enjoy my time with Hearts of Fire. In fact, I watched it twice. It made me laugh, and it even managed to teach me a few things….

1. Fiona can’t sing. I am not surprised that I had never heard of her before watching this film, and some of her warbling made me wish I was a double Van Gogh.

2. F**k ’em if they can’t take a joke. 

3. Famous pop stars own their own helicopters and live in castles. 

4. Chicken farmers have lots of eggs. Possibly because they have a “No Admittance” sign posted above their “Eggs for Sale” sign. 

5. If you’re a down and out rocker, find a chicken farm and fall asleep in various places. This will seem normal. 

6. Fiona still can’t sing. 

This movie will not change your life. It will not take you to that special place in your sub-conscience that you didn’t know existed. It will, however, take you on a fun ride. It delivers laughs for almost the whole of the 96 minute running time. Was that intentional? Probably not, but funny and how! It is entertaining even for a non-Dylan fans, but if you have high standards for your films then skip this one. Otherwise, I highly recommend watching it (if you can get your hands on it, it has been long out of print) and have a great time watching it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Comedy gold!

Count 'em Up, Bob!

    April 21 1991. If you have a date in you’re life that all important roads either end at or leave from you will understand. No walls fell, no disaster stuck, important history was not made but for me there is B.B. and A.B. In my life it is how all time is kept. I was at the local auditorium. I was 16 with one ticket in my hand. None of my friends wanted to go with me. Most of my friends didn’t know who I was going to see. I had heard Bob Dylan first and thought what most 13 years olds think. “What’s he saying?”

Then I really started to listen. Dylan was the first songwriter that made me love the twist of a phase. After I was about 3 tapes (yeah I’m old) in I was hooked. From there I found Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, The Band, even more contemporary people I had just missed like Tom Petty. I loved him not just for his music, but for his knowledge of music. The more I read about him the more I discovered my own American Musical heritage. I’m not just speaking of folk music, but old country, rock, and blues. 

   I stood outside waiting to get in. I was in the second row. I had to camp out for tickets by myself while my mother nervously rode around the block. After a day of sleeping on the street and a couple of months, I was going to see Bob Dylan. I was the coolest person ever.

   The concert was awesome, to me. On the way out I heard college kids complaining about what he didn’t play. I heard old hippies talking about how he’d changed. All those people were obviously nuts. I saw an awesome show.

   The reason for this story is two fold. The first we’ll get back to later, but for now let's bring it back home to the review and how hard it is for me the say bad things about Dylan. There are all kind of nerds in this world. Some go for comic books, some are in the chess club, and if you go way down the list you get to song nerds. Like a Spiderman fan is to Stan Lee, I am to Bob Dylan. I tell anyone to take my opinion of this movie not with a grain of salt, but a whole shaker. 

   The movie has flaws. If you are a rock music history fan, there will be enough to keep you entertained. but strangely the music is not one of those things. It is interesting to see the songs that were picked to share the screen with the greatest songwriter ever. He sings tunes by John Hiatt and Shel Silverstein. To me, those are both songwriters very near the top of my list. Also Ronnie Wood pops in as well as Richie Havens. There are a couple of Dylan references put in for good measure like little cinematic hidden track.

     

   The acting is hit and miss. Fiona seems half stoned for the whole film. Sometimes it works with the screen, sometimes not. Rupert Everett does the best he can, but the guy he is playing needs to be put down for general whininess. Dylan is, well, Dylan. If you know a little about Dylan you know that means good and bad things for a movie. That means at times he will be hard to understand. That also means he will be funny and deliver lines with timing that only a song and dance man could.

   The movie looks well done. The worst part is the writing. There are some lines that just don't jive with who the characters ought to be. After all, I'm a girl who has played guitar her whole life, and there's no chance I would have to ask what a mandolin is. Fiona's character has a tendency to say things twice for effect. She's not a great actress, but with what she was given, Catherine Denauve couldn't have delivered on the drek that Joe Esterhauz  spread all over everyone's script. There were buckets of bad dialog.

   

   The main message of the plot is fame and how it affects art. To this point the film is effective and even ends on a hopeful note. The melodrama in the middle does play out like soap opera. 

Dylan's character comes off part himself, part Keith Moon and a little Willie Nelson. In spite what most people would believe, the character was not intended to be a carbon copy. If you are looking for a better understanding of Dylan, I suggest the movie I’m Not There. Watching it you will be confused the whole time, but you will know a lot more at the end.

   This movie will always have a place on my VHS shelf, but it’s not for everyone. So take that into account, but if you are a Dylan fan, pick it up if you can find it. For those of who might not understand the appeal of Hearts of Fire, think the American Ninja for guitar playing chicks.

    April 21 1991, and I'm walking outside after the show waiting for my mom to pick me up. There is this guy in a leather jacket holding a star from Dylan’s green room. I hear him talking to his friend about the show. I run to him asking a flurry of questions.  Little did I know then that we would meet years later, rule over the moon and try to take over the Earth with B movies. Life is strange. So thanks Bob for bring people together in the name of music. My life After Bugg is much superior to Before Bugg.

Leopard Skin Pillbox Hats

In the aftermath of Valentine’s Day, I feel there’s room for a bit more love….and death. Some people might think that working in a graveyard doesn’t leave much room for a love life, and those folks might be right. After all it’s one thing when you are having an affair with a woman and her husband comes back from work, it’s a whole other situation when he comes back from the dead. Ladies and Gents…….

Francesco Dellamorte (Everett) lives a secluded life. In a small shack in the middle of the Buffalora, Italy graveyard, he lives with his only human contact being his peculiar assistant Gnaghi. Not only does he have to care for the dead, he has to make sure they stay dead. Seven days after a body is interred, it rises up out of the grave, and only a traumatic injury to the head can make them rest in peace once and for all. 

Dellamorte’s life changes when he makes the acquaintance of a beautiful young widow (Anna Falci). He begins to fall for her and soon seduces her, but as they make love atop her spouse’s grave, her husband rises from his tomb and takes a bite out of the girl. Fearing she too will come back from the grave, Francesco takes her life. As he begins a slow spiral into depression, he begins to meet women who resemble his lost love, and he will go to any ends to be with them. 

--An American company offered to put up the money for the film. That is if Matt Dillon were cast as Francesco. 

--Martin Scorsese called Cemetery Man the best Italian film of the ‘90’s.

--The film was shot in an actual abandoned cemetery. 

--Cemetery Man is also known as Of Death Of Love, Demons ‘95, and in Spain retitled Mi novia es un Zombie (My Fiancée is a Zombie).

Even with its reputation, I had low expectations of this film because it starred Rupert Everett. , perhaps most well known for his string of gay best friend characters in films such as My Best Friend’s Wedding and The Next Best Thing. However I was pleasantly surprised. Everett showed the kind of acting skill I had only seen from him in The Madness of King George (one of my favorite films). So with my hesitation for Everett’s skills put to rest, the rest of the film lived up to the hype. 

This well paced film, based off the novel written by comic book scribe Tiziano Sclavi, has practically everything that a fan of horror comedy could want. There are tons of zombies, the darkest of humor, and characters that range from strange to downright zany. Yet more than that, it is a film that works on several levels. If you want to watch it for laughs, then this is for you. If you want to watch it for horror, then this is for you. If you want to watch it for a movie with emotional impact and meaning, then this is also for you. It’s almost hard to believe that a film could be crafted so deftly that all these factors could manage to work together. 

Everett, as I have said, was a revelation to me. This is an actor that I have discounted completely, and I will be investigating his work much more closely. Francois Hadji-Lazaro, who some may recognize for his role in The City of Lost Children, is brilliant as Gnaghi. Delivering only the word “Gna” throughout the film, he manages to impart the character with a deep emotional resonance. It is a role that could have easily descended into buffoonery, but Hadji-Lazaro pulls it off and makes you feel for the character. Anna Falci in her many roles as “She” also turns in a great performance. Each character she inhabits is distinct while still managing to carry over characteristics of her previous incarnations. Apart from her acting, she is also quite beautiful (and quite naked) in the film.  

Director Michele Soavi, who began his career working with both Joe D’Amato and Dario Argento, brings flavors of both directors to the screen while managing to form his own style. Cinematographer Mauro Marchetti experience with genre cinema mostly comes from is work as a cameraman on films such as Argento's  Four Flies on Grey Velvet and Margaretti's Killer Fish, but he has also been the shooter for such films as Robert Altman’s Popeye aa well as training the lens on Marlon Brando in Last Tango in Paris. Here he breaks out all kind of camera tricks and stylized shots to give the visual narrative as much impact as the scripted. 

In the end this film just works for me. It hits all the right notes at all the right times. The pacing, the look and feel, and the uncomfortable laughter it evokes. This is one that I rented, and I can tell you now that it is one I will soon be purchasing. If you haven’t seen this one for one reason or another, move it to the top of your rental pile or drop some cash on the Anchor Bay release. Do what you have to do, but see this film. I can’t quite give it a 5 of 5 because I would have liked there to be a bit more of the red stuff on display, but it’s a very narrow miss.