There’s an apartment for rent at Dr. Karl Gunther’s boarding house, but that’s only because Karl (Kinksi) has just dispatched his last tenant, a beautiful young woman who he “really liked”. In fact all the residents of the apartment house are young women, and Karl likes to keep an eye on them, a really close eye. He looks in on the girls by moving around the air duct before retiring to write in his journal where he catalogs the murders he commits and his fascination with death. 

At one time, Karl had been a prominent doctor who practiced humane euthanasia, but after discovering about his fathers past as an executioner for Nazi Germany, he begins to find himself following in his father’s footsteps and leaving a path of dead bodies. Now he watches and waits, fashioning an array of deadly toys and traps, ready to kill and ready to die. 

I’ve been checking out a lot of Kinski lately for an article I have coming up soon for BthroughZ, and a couple of days ago I had my first viewing of the Herzog classic Aguirre, Wrath of God. So with a few of the notoriously ornery German’s films under my belt, I thought it was high time I watched one of the films that Kinski did for the paycheck. There are quite a few of these, but I had heard stories of the difficulties Puppet Master director David Schoeller had with the actor. In fact he made a short film on the subject called Please Kill Mr. Kinski which can be found on the Tromadance Vol. 1 DVD  or just watch it below where I found it on YouTube. 

So with the notoriety that the director experienced with this film, I expected the worst going in. What I forgot was that however difficult the actor might be, Klaus Kinski has the ability to bring up the quality of a film with his performance, and he proves it once again here. Karl Gunther turns out to be a very interesting character study and a memorable screen madman. Wisely, the film doesn’t even really bother to bring much characterization to the Doctor’s victims, instead giving Kinski plenty of breathing room to bring the creepy. And bring it he does. Whether he’s torturing the tongue-less girl he keeps in the attic, watching the Soap Opera actress who lives there sing a song, or burning his hand just for kicks, Gunther is full of menace and perversity which nearly seems to emanate from Kinski’s blue eyes. Especially powerful are the scenes that follow his murders when Karl plays Russian roulette. Each time when he escapes self imposed death, he simply says, “So be it.” These scenes illustrate Gunther’s loose connection to the mortal coil, and further go to show how obsessed with the nature of death he has become.  

The film itself is another beast apart from Kinki’s presence. Many of the scenes without him tend to drag on, but once the action gets started and the conventional slasher elements kick in, it turns out to be a fun and unpredictable ride. Schmoeller even manages to work in some of the dark humor present in his films The Puppet Master and Netherworld. Crawlspace was of course also brought to you by Charles Band and his pre-Full Moon venture, Empire. So that’ll give you some idea of what we’re dealing with here. This is a difficult star in a movie with the shoestring budget, and while the former enhanced the film, the latter is where it falters badly. 

Little of the diabolical Doctors violent sprees get shown, and while he keeps trophies of his kills, they look no better than what you could buy at the local 5 and Dime. So here we are presented with Kinksi as a psycho, deviant doctor, but in essence we have to take his word for it. I would have loved to see the gore meter set up a notch on this one, and if it had happened, you may well have seen something really classic. 

As it is, Crawlspace is a middle of the road film. If you’re into watching Kinski do his thing, then that’s exactly what you’ll get, and chances are you’ll enjoy. It adds a special layer to the film knowing how difficult Kinski was with I director so I’ll give a paraphrased example. After several days of already strained shooting, David Schmoeller called cut to one of Klaus’ scenes. The actor doubled over and held his head screaming “Cut! Cut! Cut!” over and over again. So the director, trying to keep his star happy, inquires what is wrong to which Kinski replies, “I’ve made over 200 films and every time always directors calling cut, cut, cut!” Schmoller while barely retaining his composure says, “Well, Klaus, what would you prefer I say.” Kinski rose up and looked at his director, “Say nothing, and I will stop when I am finished.” 

Hello folks, and welcome to this week’s Grab Bag. In an effort to bring you all kinds of films, sometimes I just have to take a chance on something, but compared to some of the fare I’ve been looking at lately, it’s a big shift in gears. I don’t know what else to say about this one up front so let’s just get right into it.

Ben (Timmermans) spends most of his time alone. Even with people around, Ben is alone in his head. He goes to a school where he gets mercilessly picked on, and the kids call him ‘The Martian’. When he’s at home, Ben has memorized his relationship with his mother (Pinoy) and knows every word before it comes out of her mouth. Ben is autistic, but when he plays an online fantasy role-playing game called Archlord, he is powerful level 80, he is someone, and he is with his healer, Scarlight. For the time each day when he plays the game, he has some sense of how it is to be normal, but when the terrors of his school day invade his online world, it blows apart his life. Ben begins to feel he needs an endgame for his life, to quit playing the game, but when the real Scarlight (Virlinden) comes into life, he learns that every game can have multiple endings. 

I know this movie sounds like a major downer, but really it’s not. It’s more of a minor downer. In the end this is a film that has plenty of heart, but because it comes from a Belgian director, it doesn’t fall into the heartwarming traps that befall so called “inspirational” American films. Instead it gives us a chance to experience a bit of what the life of someone like Ben might be like, and the ride is unsettling, darkly humorous, but ultimately a story about growth and understanding. All that sounds really heavy I know, but the move fuses all of this with a frenetic pacing, and some interesting visuals. 

The camera acts at all times as how Ben sees the world. The cuts are jumpy and jumbled and the perspective switches constantly to mirror Ben’s heightened sense of awareness. It also flashes back and forth between Ben’s real world and parts of his game world. So while he is being bullied we see flashes of Orcs laughing at him, and each morning in the mirror as Ben does his hair, he pulls up his “character sheet”. It gives us an interesting look at the coping mechanisms that Ben has to keep up to deal with the world at all. 

None of this would be possible without the amazing performance of Greg Timmermans who brings every nervous tick and wild eyed panic attack an invisible sense of painful honesty. This was Timmermans first movie and this powerhouse portrayal should help him launch quite a career. The film also features some really nice turns by the actors who play the bullies (Voogdt and Claeyssens) as well as Marijke Pinoy as Ben’s beleaguered mother, and Virlindin has a beautiful otherworldly quality which is perfect for the real life avatar of Scarlight. 

The best thing about this film is where it does not go. It does not ask you to pity anyone. It does not tread on ground already covered in films such as Gus Van Sant’s Elephant, and I was very relieved by that. Instead what we get is a touching portrait of a young man struggling to find out what normal means to him, and where this story really succeeds is in the pacing of the film. The scenes play out with such a paranoid tautness that it feels very much like a thriller, and perhaps that’s what it is. Ben is trying to escape, and thanks to a few inspired twists (and one fairly contrived one) the resolution is very satisfying.

I know this is not the kind of film I usually cover, and generally I leave anything with a heavy dramatic tone like this alone. Going into it I was fascinated by the video game aspect of the film, and its quirky inclusion does provide the film an extra layer. However Ben X turned out to be a film that surpasses its gimmick, and actually managed to bring me a greater understanding of what is a rather complex subject while being highly entertaining.  

In the months that the Lair has been spewing out reviews of cult films, I have traveled the world to bring you films from England, Sweden, The Philippines, Indonesia, Spain, and of course Italy. There’s one country whose films I have really wanted to check out because of their reputation for some classics in trash cinema, and that country is Turkey. So when I was browsing around Cinema de Bizarre’s catalog looking for some goodies, I came across this little bit of strangeness, and that is the best word to describe this film. After all what do you get when you take an Italian director, a Turkish/Italian cast, and homage to Mario Puzo and the Man of Steel? Well, I’m here to tell you that you end up with….

Our tale begins in peaceful Istanbul where Professor Vak Von Vong (Ali Sen) has invented a working time machine which he demonstrates by traveling back to the end of the Byzantine Empire to discover the secret of a lost treasure. Soon his discovery is world news and everyone wants to get their hands on it. George and Sol (Canti and Borgese) are two scoundrels (and apparently Supermen) who want the scientific breakthrough for their own personal gain. Brad (Arkin) is an agent for the US government (and the third Superman) who’s sent to Istanbul to look into the time machine and heroin being run through the city and intended for The Godfather of New York (Sambrell). Meanwhile, after his drug shipment gets stolen, the Godfather sends his thugs after the machine so he can find out who stole from him. As the three factions vie to get their hands on the Professor’s invention, it gets damaged and in the accident the professor loses his memory. It’s up to the Supermen to band together and save the professor and his wonderful machine. 

I know my synopsis does not do justice for the zaniness that is Three Supermen Against the Godfather. From the opening strains of the Turkish disco theme song, I felt like I was in for an interesting time at the very least, and I was not to be disappointed. This is a film you are best to put on, relax, and try not to think too hard or you’ll hurt yourself. You might also hurt yourself trying to dig up information on this one. I had to consult a ton of resources before I was able to put names to characters, and then I still felt unsure. In the dubbed version I watched, the Supermen are George, Sol, and Brad, but I believe their names in Turkish to be Yavsak, Matrak, and Murat. 

Brad (or Murat) played by Cüneyt Arkin, who some may know from the film Turkish Star Wars (which I have yet to see), struck me as very Eric Estrada-esque, I did enjoy his mucho macho performance. George (or Yavsak) was played by Aldo Canti, who started his career as a stuntman. He made the leap to speaking roles with a couple of sword and sandals flicks before teaming with director Martinengi for several films. Lastly there’s Sal Borgese, a veteran of many Spaghetti westerns, who played Sol. In a neat bit of coincidence, Borgese had a minor role in The Godfather III as a guard. Last but not least, what are these Supermen with no one to be against? In the role of The Godfather you have Aldo Sambrel who has over 150 films to his credit including A Fist Full of Dollars, Black Commando, and Jess Franco’s Killer Barby series. 

Now you may have noticed that I didn’t say a word about the acting skills of any of those men, and, well, that’s for good reason. The dubbing is incredibly far out in this one so it’s hard to tell, but it does lead to some incredible lines such as Istanbul being “just like Brooklyn” and after the Time machine gets stolen from George he exclaims, “We’ve been diddled!” I’m pretty sure the last time I heard an exclamation like that it was coming out of the mouth of Opus in Bloom County. Anyhow, I hate to judge what the performances were actually like, but I will suffice it to say that I found all the characters extremely entertaining. 

I did however expect something a little bit more on the nose than I got. I’ve heard tales of the footage from Lucas’ Star Wars which was shamelessly dropped into the Turkish version, and I expected 3 Supermen was going to pull a similar trick with the Christopher Reeve Superman film. It was not to be though. The “Superman” costumes which the 3 main characters don are red spandex bodysuits, and while George exhibits the ability to leap down from a high building in a single bound, there are precious little in the way of super powers on display. I suppose it makes sense though, the gangsters don’t seem to have any guns so at least everyone is evenly matched. 

What is on full display is a load of silly and strange situations including the Professor becoming a sex maniac, a chase after a hat, and a dose of belly dancing. For the most part, the film makes very little sense and is poorly shot and edited, but thankfully with an 87 minute running time, the wacky world of the 3 Supermen doesn’t overstay its welcome. If you’re looking for a film with some meaning or skill behind it, then this is not the film for you, but if you want some mindless good times and a classic piece of cult cinema, then check this one out. 

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country  starring William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takai, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols Christopher Plummer, and Kim Catrell. Directed by Nicholas Meyer. 

After a disaster on the Klingon moon Praxis and through the mediation of Captain Spock, the Klingon Empire has felt the need to negotiate for peace with the Federation. So who better to ferry the Klingon representative, Chancellor Gorkon (David Warner), than the crew of the U.S.S Enterprise. With the ship and crew due to be decommissioned, Kirk and company are not so happy to be called up for escort duty, and Kirk has no use for the peace overtures of the Klingons who he has yet to forgive for the death of his son.

They crew boards the Enterprise once more with Spock’s protégé Lt. Valeris (Catrell) filling out their roster. They rendezvous with the Klingon ship, and as a sign of friendship, invite their crew to have dinner onboard the Enterprise. After a tense dinner which nearly ends the peace process, Chancellor Gorkon, his daughter Azetbur (Rosanna De Santo) and General Chang (Plummer) retire to their ship for the evening, but deep in the night there is an attack by men wearing the Federation uniform which leaves Gorkon mortally wounded. Kirk and McCoy beam over to try and help. However. McCoy is unable to save the wounded peace maker. Soon the two men find themselves arrested by the Klingons and charged with the death of Gorkon, and it’s up to Spock and the rest of the crew to prove their innocence and bring the whole of the universe into the future, the undiscovered country. 

I want to start this off by saying that this review will probably be lengthy, full of gushing praise, and drowning in factoids and trivia that only a real nut for this film could love. Well, it so happens that I am that nut. I won’t go into my whole history with the Trek series or the length and breath of my fandom, but suffice it to say that it is vast. Sure I’m not as scary as some Trekkies. I’ve never collected garbage on the side of the road in a Starfleet uniform, but I won’t deny having one or two hanging in the closet. I feel that over the years as I’ve grown with Trek, my fervor may have mellowed, but my fandom has not. 

I suppose no discussion of Star Trek films can start without a moment to touch on what has come before. I’ll pass on by the show and the cartoon, and just take a moment with the films. Star Trek: The Motion Picture I feel is a much maligned film with some incredible and memorable moments. The Wrath of Khan, well, obviously a high water mark for some, and it was the first of the films to written by Nicholas Meyer who also directed. The Search for Spock bores me to tears, and I hate that because Christopher Lloyd as a Klingon was quite fun. Then there was the funny one, The Voyage Home, which was also penned by Meyer. This was my youthful favorite and still maintains a spot in my heart today. Then they made Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier (a.k.a The Search for God), and let’s be honest that movie was god-awful. 

So now that brings us up to speed with Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Directed and written by Nicholas Meyer (who also did the double duties on the 1979 H.G. Wells/Jack the Ripper crossover Time after Time), this film was intended to finally be a swan song for Kirk and his crew. The powers that be were already looking to the future of Trek, and the sixty year old crewmates were not in the picture. Instead they were looking to clear the way for a new series of movies which were long rumored to spotlight Sulu and his new crew of the Excelsior. Instead plans would culminate in the 1994 bit of drek Generations featuring the Star Trek :The Next Generation crew sharing an adventure with the mostly dead James Kirk. (ST:TNG fans would have to wait until First Contact for a good film.)

So now that I’m already wildly off track let me try and reign it back in again. So Nicholas Meyer and Leonard Nimoy had been kicking this idea around for a number of years, but in the face of a crumbling soviet bloc, the time was right for Star Trek to signal the end to two eras at once. That’s what really makes this film work for me. While there are certainly large portions of the film which are meant to mirror Soviet/US relations, the sense of finality and change that pervade the film certainly speak to the melancholy fan watching the end of an era. So when Kirk complains of feeling hopelessly outdated and out of touch with the changing times, is he talking about the Starfleet or is it Shatner making a commentary on his troupe of aging actors. 

Aging? Perhaps, but ready to turn in final and definitive versions of their iconic characters. Sadly, this film does not spotlight the supporting players as much as Star Trek V. So Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov all have some nice moments and places where little touches of character shine through, but lets face it Star Trek has and always will be about the big three; Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. 

I’ll start with the latter and actor DeForest Kelley. Sure he’s been the grumpy cynical doctor, but in ST:TUC, Leonard “Bones” McCoy finally shows both his passion for peace and for medicine. His character is defined by one single scene, when his medical skills are not sufficient to save Gorkon from his grizzly death. Through it we understand more about the “simple country doctor”, a man who has spent years patching war wounds and saving lives throughout the galaxy while on a mission meant to be peaceful. 

Spock is perhaps the most difficult character in Star Trek to get a handle on. This probably comes from the fact that no one else died and came back as a blank slate. It took until Star Trek VI to repair the damage done when they resurrected the character, but here we finally get a whole fully realized Spock. There are parts of his manner which are quite Vulcan and some which are very human, and that’s what Spock really is, a man trapped between two worlds. Spock’s journey through the films has lead to this point, and Leonard Nimoy brings us resolution to this journey which is much deserved. 

Last, but not least, the reason we’re talking about this film in the first place, William Shatner. Shatner’s Kirk is not a dynamic character, and while he does have some minor moral changes due to the events in the film, Kirk is what we need him to be. He is the hero brave in the face of danger, the diplomat able to navigate the waters around him, and the schemer one step ahead of the bad guys. Shatner is clearly having fun with what was supposed to be his final turn as Kirk, and we have plenty of fun with him. As always Shatner is magnetic and all the threads of the plot follow in his wake. With his final command from the Captain’s chair to set the ship on a course, “Second star to the right, and straight on until morning.”, it was more than a wink to Peter Pan. It was a nod to the kid that comes alive in Star Trek fans when we join into the adventures of the Enterprise. At the tender age of fifteen when I first saw this flick, it brought a tear to my eye, and I have to admit it still makes me misty to this day. 

I would be remiss if I did not take a moment to talk about the rest of the supporting cast. Kim Catrell, of Sex & the City and Mannequin fame, actually manages to make the pointy Vulcan ears look sexy, and I am no fan of her body of work….or her body for that matter. Christopher Plummer shows up here as a Shakespeare quoting Klingon and almost steals the show from Shatner with his scenery chewing performance. There’s also a stunning performance from character actor David Warner as Chancellor Gorkon. Unrecognizable from his role as Bob Crachit in the George C. Scott version of The Christmas Carol, Warner turns in a brief performance that is memorable and moving. You also get some great appearances from Kurtwood Smith, Michael Dorn, Brock Peters, Renee Auberjonois, Christian Slater, and Iman as a shape shifting alien who seduces Kirk. 

When you get down to brass tacks, Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country is a movie in two parts. While Kirk and McCoy are embroiled in a political situation which leads them to fight for their lives in a Klingon jail on a snow covered planet, Spock and the Enterprise crew are trying to uncover the mystery which will exonerate their friends. This search throughout the ship for clues really boils down to a locked room mystery in space with Mr. Spock taking over for Mr. Holmes. The stunning thing about this film is that these two interlocking storylines, which mainly rely on dialog and not action to propel them, actually manages to stay exciting. The aging cast clearly could not make another action oriented movie, and action is for the most set aside with the only “action” sequence  occurring in the final moments of the film and only one singular space battle gracing the screen. 

 Wow. I have really gone on way too long, and I could go on for this long or longer over again. So I suppose it’s best I put an end to this here. There are plenty of gaffes in this movie I could tear apart, just take a look at the IMDB “goofs” page if you don’t believe me. There are plenty more pieces of trivia to drop, but in the end what I want to emphasize is that to me, for me, this is THE movie featuring the original crew of the Starship Enterprise. Many will cite Khan, some may point to Four, a misguided few might even like The Final Frontier, but for my money when I need to capture the majesty of what Star Trek means to me, this is the film. So my rating, well, take it with a grain of salt. Unlike other times, I am not even going to try and separate my love for the film from my rating. This is a film I can go back to time and time again and never tire of. I just hope that some of my enthusiasm gets even one of you to give this film a first chance or a re-watch. In the face of the rebooted Star Trek, I think it’s high time we remember where the first crew of the NCC-1701 ended their journey. 

Since in the last couple of weeks I’ve been fulfilling requests on Tuesdays, I thought I would take up a suggestion that was thrown out a few weeks back for this week’s B.L.O.G entry. Tonight we get to take another look at Jess Franco as he attempts to blend horror and the erotic with the help of….

Lina Romay was actually born Rosa Maria Almirall in mid-fifties Spain, and when she began acting took her stage name from a singer/actress who was once part of Xavier Cougat’s band. Starting with 1972’s The Erotic Adventures of Frankenstein where she played a bit part as a gypsy girl, Romay became Jess Franco’s muse appearing in over 100 of his films. She also stole the director’s heart, and while they have never married, their professional and personal partnership lasts even until this very day. 

It was in her 6th film with Franco when she first took on a lead role. It was a role would be the first in a long line of brazenly sexual roles Romay would portray. It is not perfect film, far from it, but it is the tale of the Countess Karlstien, known as…

After a rash of killings begins to plague a resort town, Dr. Roberts (Franco) begins to investigate the killings and soon begins to suspect that the murder is a vampire. His prime suspect is the beautiful, but mute, Countess Karlstien who is vacationing at a local resort. It seems the Countess comes from a cursed family, and to stay alive she feeds on blood and the hormones of her victims when they are in the throws of an orgasm. She leads a sad lonely life, but soon finds herself attracted to the handsome, mustachioed Baron Von Rathony (Taylor). The Baron feels like they are destined to be together, but the Countess is unsure. The couple retreat to the Countess’ family home high in the mountains, but with Dr. Roberts on her trail, the life and the love of the Countess may well be at an end. 

Wow, that was a really hard movie to synopsize. While all of the events (and a few others) happen in the film, the majority of the running time is not devoted to plot development. Instead, from the first frame of film on, we are treated with a continuing series of scenes and situations which are devoted to keeping Romay in as little as possible. In fact Romay only has 3 costumes in the entire film. The first is a simple spring number: vampire cape, belt, and knee high leather boots. See in the world of Female Vampires, covering one’s breasts is overrated. That’s what she doesn’t bother with either off her other outfits either. A white dress she wears while tanning, yes, tanning, is basically sheer, and then her last outfit is a tight black dress with a completely transparent top. If anyone thinks they might want to see Lina Romay’s breasts, well, you get all the chances you will ever need in this film. 

That’s not to say I did not appreciate them, after all, to paraphrase a certain sitcom, they are real and fabulous, but as with anything that becomes a constant in a film, after a while the effect wears off. Romay of course does not stop at exposing her breasts, and you pretty much get to see every character (except thankfully Dr. Roberts) in their birthday suits. While one or two of these folks who get sexed to death by the Countess have entertaining scenes, again it becomes monotonous and fills up too much of the picture. 

How much does it fill up? Well, we are an hour into the picture until the love story even begins to kick off. While we have shared many a scene with Jack Taylor by this point, (including getting a Dr. Manhattan worthy look at Taylor’s junk as he trims his ‘stache), his scenes are entirely too melodramatic and full of what Franco was trying to pass as “philosophy”. As far as Romay’s acting what is there to say. Mostly, she roams around named, and she’s mute. So I really don’t have anything to say about her various styling’s when nodding ‘yes’ or shaking her head ‘no’. The only real standout acting comes from Franco whose Dr. Roberts is consistently entertaining each time he takes the screen. Also the blind spiritualist, Dr. Orloc (Jean-Pierre Bouyxou), is a totally creepy dude, and I would especially like to see him in the 1978 film The Raisins of Death.

 

In the end while there is some cool plot points, some scenes that work dramatically, and some moments where the film has a very aggressively erotic tone. The problems I have really come down to too much or not enough. The sex scenes where mostly uninteresting and long, and lusting after Romay became pointless when she is naked for virtually the whole of the film. Then there’s the fact that the characters are never really developed, and the plot is never given any chance to grow. There’s too much of the sleazy Franco and not enough of the artful director who struck a better balance two years earlier with Eugenie. 

Here's a long (5min) cut from Female Vampire. I did not review the whole clip myself, but I can pretty much assure you that some parts may not be safe for work. 

Welcome back to the second Terrifying Tuesday that was chosen by you, the readers of the LBL. Last week I took on the number one choice, Unberto Lenzi’s Hell of the Living Dead, and this week we get to look at the runner up. 

Dario Argento is a name synonymous with the horror genre to many people, but in the late ‘60’s when Argento was getting his start, he took jobs writing screenplays. Argento put his pen to such films as the Leone western Once Upon a Time in the West and Lenzi’s war flick Legion of the Damned. Then in 1970, Argento finally got a chance to make a film on his own, and its success lead to Dario becoming such a name in the genre. So for this Terrifying Tuesday, I give you the Argento’s first film in a review picked by Ryan and The Bonebreaker. Gents, this is….

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage [Italian: L’Uccello dalle piume di cristallo] (1970) starring Tony Musante, Suzy Kendall, and Enrico Maria Salemo. Directed by Dario Argento. 

Sam (Musante) is an American writer who has come to live Italy to look for inspiration, but all Sam has managed to do is take a job writing a book about the preservations of rare birds. Feeling dejected and suffering from writers block, Sam collects his paycheck for the book and intends to return home, but on the way back to his loft, he witnesses a murder in progress in an art gallery. He tries to get to the victim to save her, but he only manages to scare the murderer off. Thankfully the police arrive and whisk the woman to the hospital as she clings to life. Sam feels like he’s done his civic duty, but Inspector Morosini has a few questions for him.

Morosini takes Sam to the station where he makes the writer go over the details of the crime time and time again. They finally release Sam, but keep his passport so he can’t leave the country. The events of that night begin to haunt Sam’s thoughts, and soon he is tracking down leads on his own. He scours the city for any clues and questions everyone from art dealers to get to the bottom of the case. As Sam draws nearer to uncovering the killer, he might have to give his own life to find out the truth. 

I’ll be the first to admit that Argento is not my favorite among the Italian directors. While I respect both his body of work and achievements, Argento’s films often leave me wanting. I do have to say that The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is one of my favorite films which I have seen from the director. Especially considering this was Dario’s first foray into directing, it was quite an achievement. I could definitely see the young director stating his purpose and beginning to define his style. There are shades of what Argento would do in films such as Susperia and Tenebre and the stylistic flourishes that he would become known for. 

One of the best things about The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is the script which was also written by Argento. The pacing of the film is done incredibly well, and although there is only one action sequence to speak of, it still moves along at a breakneck pace. It is easy to become involved in Sam’s story, and while it is ludicrous that the Italian police would allow a writer to continue his own rogue investigation, other than that, the film maintains a realistic tone throughout which makes the tension palpable. My only gripe about Argento’s scripting comes in the form of the red herrings. While they are a must in a giallo, here they feel contrived and are easily to discount. That being said, I did not see the final reveal coming, and that was immensely satisfying. 

The acting was also quite strong throughout. Tony Muscante, who looked so young and was barely recognizable from his roles in Oz and 2008’s We Own the Night, carried the movie incredibly well. When I praised the script earlier for making Sam and engaging character, I was perhaps doing Muscante a disservice. Without his energetic portrayal of the frustrated writer, the character could have easily been nothing more than a cardboard cutout. The other great performance in the film comes by way of genre cinema regular Enrico Maria Salerno. With credits such as …Calling all Police Cars, Night Train Murders, Candy and Gambling City on his resume, he will be a familiar face to many avid film watchers. Here as Inspector Morosini, Salerno brings a great deal of humor to what amounts to a grim situation. There is one scene in particular where he wants Sam to look at a line up and calls for them to “Bring in the perverts.” which will stick in my mind for quite some time. The rest of the cast acquit themselves quite well, but their performances are nothing more than incidental to the continuation of the narrative. 

Argento worked with Vittorio Storaro on this film, and with only three previous credits before The Bird with the Crystal Plumage,  Storaro was also just beginning  his career. He would go on to lens Apocalypse Now, Reds, and the childhood favorite Ladyhawk. While the film did have a very beautiful look to it, I felt that it had a much more muted color palette than would be on display in much or Argento’s later work. Perhaps the collaboration was not a fruitful as either would have liked as they never paired up for a project again. However, this film would signal the start of a professional relationship between Argento and composer Ennio Morricone. They would go on to work on four more films together, and with The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Morricone provided an excellent soundscape as usual. 

While I have much good to say about Argento’s freshman effort, I still do find the film a bit lacking. While the end has a good twist which is never really hinted at, the red herrings we are given along the way are such throwaways the viewer never really suspects anyone, much less the actual killer. So while it is technically well made, scripted and acted, it does not rank up there with the best of the gialli I have seen. I would much rather put in Blood and Black Lace or What Have You Done to Solonge?, but at the same time for the importance of this horror icon’s first film, this is one that should not be missed. While it probably will not call to you for repeated viewings, one if definitely required. 

When the peaceful planet of Akir is threatened by intergalactic overlord Sador (Saxon), they dispatch young Shad (Thomas) in their only spacecraft to find and bring back mercenaries to defend the planet. His travels take him to a space station where he enlists at brilliant scientist’s daughter Nanelia, and then he travels deeper into space where he meets the western obsessed space trucker Cowboy (Peppard) and enlists his aid. On her way to Akir, a ship of creatures captures Nanelia, but she gains their trust when she reveals that she is joining the flight against Sador.

 Shad travels on enlisting the help of a multi-faceted creature named Nestor, and then he travels to a deserted planet that was once infamous for its mercenaries. There he meets the last remaining ne’er-do-well, a wanted man named Gelt (Vaughn), who agrees to aid the planet for a meal and a place to hide. Lastly, on his way back home, a woman in a tiny but extremely fast ship follows Shad. She announces herself as Saint-Exmin of the Valkeree (Danning), and even after Shad rebuffs her request to help, she follows him to Akir to join in the battle. Together the people of Akir and the mercenaries mount a defense, but Sador holds a super weapon that could destroy the whole planet. They have but once chance to defeat the overlord and save Akir from certain destruction. 

You may be thinking you’ve heard this story before, and boy, have you. Battle Beyond the Stars not only seeks to ride the coattails of Star Wars, it also intends to do it while aping the plot of The Seven Samurai (or the original Kurosawa imitator The Magnificent Seven as well as the planet being named Akir after Akira Kurosawa). The basics are all here, and Robert Vaughn seems to be reprising his role from Magnificent Seven even down to the point to where some of his dialog is a carbon copy of the earlier film. That being said BBtS is a film which I enjoyed now, and I could only wish I had seen it back in the eighties when I would have surely ate this up with a spoon.

While the plot itself could not be more derivative, BBtS actually shines because of a plethora of good performances. Richard Thomas, better know as TV’s John Boy on the Waltons, puts in a fine performance as Shad. His character arc is the main focus of the film, and Thomas manages impress while also having that farm boy sensibility that made Mark Hammil’s Luke Skywalker so easy to like. Cult icon Sybil Danning’s rare non-horror role is also a great success. She played the Valkeree way over the top, but this is a film which allows for such performances. Plus, she wears a series of revealing outfits which certainly look right out of a sci-fi fan boys dream. I also want to throw in a special mention for Earl Boen as The Nestor. As soon as I heard his voice, I was sure I knew him from somewhere. While Boen has been a dependable character actor for many years, I realized after looking up his IMDB page that he was the narrator for the World of Warcraft games, and yes, I was once one of those people who spent all their waking hours in WoW, but now I have reformed and spend all my time watching movies. Oh, and what am I thinking! I almost forgot to mention John Saxon! Yeah, I just waxed poetic about The Saxon yesterday so I wont go there again, but suffice it to say John is as excellent as always. 

Yet the two real high caliber turns come from the two actors who drove the budget of the film up so high (I assume, as it could not have been the effects, but more on that later.) A pre A-Team George Peppard makes the most of his role of Cowboy, certainly a joke on the films connection to westerns, and manages to infuse what could be a one-note role with a sensitivity and humor. Cowboy has a great many one-liners, but what I will remember him most for his belt. I mean who would not want a belt that dispenses Scotch, soda, and ice. Next, I have to take a moment for Robert Vaughn. As I said earlier, his turn as Gelt virtually mirrors his role as Lee in The Magnificent Seven. That being said the surprising part is that Vaughn didn’t just show up to collect a paycheck; he actually bothered to act. Gelt is a pivotal character in the film and he both evokes menace and pathos.

When you look at a sci fi flick like BBtS, you have to take a look at what the special effects. While the costuming left a lot to be desired, and I do mean a lot, the actual ships flying in space look at least as good as Star Wars (and I do mean real Star Wars and not the Lucas redo). The main ship Shad navigates is quite special as well. I’ve seen all kind of ship designs in movies before, but I have never seen a ship with a giant rack before. I mean this was the Dolly Parton of spaceships. The other designs are quite good, and I enjoyed that each character had a very distinctive ship so in the battle scenes you always knew who you were looking at. 

In the end Battle Beyond the Stars is just the type of ’80’s cheese that hit’s the spot for anyone who grew up in the Star Wars era. It had everything that I like in a movie like this, a familiar but interesting story, a few good effects, and acting well above the material. This is a pretty hard flick to get your hands on, but if you can get your hands on it, then definitely pick this one up.