When it comes to holiday themed genre films, some holidays have it easier than others. Christmas is by far the champ while St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Valentine’s Day, and Arbor Day have to scrape by with a few selections. When it comes to New Years, you’ve only got a couple of choices, most popularly 1980’s New Year’s Evil and 1987’s Bloody New Year. I really wanted to see New Year’s Evil, but since it’s out of print and runs between 15 and 30 bucks for a VHS copy, welcome to my review of the British holiday sensation Bloody New Year. Directed by Norman J. Warren, the auteur behind Inseminoid (1981) and Terror (1978) brings us a New Year’s horror set in the middle of the summer. Hey, I said it was a holiday sensation, but I didn’t say what kind.

After a group of young adults runs afoul of a group of carnies at an amusement park, they get on their boat and take to the sea. They get shipwrecked on a nearby island, and find a seemingly abandoned hotel decorated for a New Year’s Eve party. Strange things start happening around them, and the group soon encounters unseen stalkers, demented zombies, and seaweed monsters. Eventually they learn that they are trapped on an island that’s caught in a time warp, forever existing on New Year’s Eve, 1959. They must find a way to leave the island before they become part of the celebration forever.

There are a few things you’ll notice about this review. The first of which is that it’s going to be fairly short. I just don’t have much to say about this one. The second of which is that, unlike most of my synopsis, I didn’t bother to list any of the actors in the description of the film. That’s because there’s really no one interesting or memorable in this film. The only one that comes close is Nikki Brooks, and that’s only because she’s cute as a button. Other than that, no one made enough of an impression to need anything else said about them.

I do have a few general things to say about the film. First off, who pisses off carnies? Living in the Southern United States, I’ve seen my share of scary carnies, but the trio of British fair workers that the protagonists tick off definitely is not a bunch that I would mess with. Not only are they mean looking, but they’re apparently expert trackers. The kids leave them far behind before they go out to sea, and the carnies still manage to find their way to the island. That’s a talent far beyond working a tilt-a-whirl, but I suppose when you look like a pack of greasers and carry chains to beat people with, there was just not a lot of good choices for occupation in late ‘80’s Britain.

Next up, why can’t people get out of nets? One of the ladies in the film gets a net dropped on her, and it's game over. There’s just no way out of it. Once a character in a film gets a net dropped on them it’s like they’re trapped in the most complex trap known to man. This gal, she even had someone there to help her out of it, and he can’t get her to stay still long enough to get out of it. So the lesson to take away here is that if you find yourself trapped in a net. Take a moment. Take a deep breath, realize that nets are open on the bottom, and you’ll be okay.

That’s really all I have to say about Bloody New Year. It’s not a film I could recommend unless you were throwing something on for a background film. It might be a little bit of fun to laugh at with some friends or to drift in and out of the bizarre sequences that make up this patchwork of a film. It did however make me come to a resolution for 2010. By the time this New Year ends, I will get a copy of New Year’s Evil.

Happy New Year, everyone! Come on back tomorrow because I have a big announcement to make about January, and I’m going to need your help. So after you nurse the hangover, come hang out in the Lair. I promise there are no nets or carnies involved.

Today when a movie studio wants to try a gimmick all they can muster up is blue people flying around in 3D, but in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s they knew how it was done. Yet only one man could be called the King of the Gimmicks, and that man is William Castle. Starting this week and running through the next couple of months, each Wednesday I’ll be looking at one of Castle’s films and the trick he had up his sleeve to promote it. I’ve always found Mr. Castle to be a fascinating character, a king of P.T. Barnum for the motion picture era, and while he was involved with many, many great films, the first that always comes to my mind is 1959’s The Tingler.

After the success of Castle’s film House on Haunted Hill, Columbia Pictures was eager to capitalize on the pairing of Castle and Vincent Price. Robb White, who had written House on Haunted Hill and Castle’s film Macabre, was brought in to write the new film. He took his inspiration from a rubber worm that was made, but not used, in Haunted Hill and grafted on his own experiences with the then legal drug LSD. What he came up with is one of the most absurd plots ever put to film, but it worked directly into the hands of Castle who had an incredible idea for a gimmick.

Vincent Price plays Dr. Warren Chapin, a pathologist who also has a hobby of studying the effects of fear. As Dr. Chapin says, “there’s a force inside of us that science knows nothing about, the force of fear.” Chapin and his assistant David Morris (Darryl Hickman) will stop at nothing to further their research even if it means scaring cats, dogs, or Chapin’s own unfaithful wife. They discover that there seems to be an organism that forms on the spine when people are frightened, and only the release of fear by screaming will make the beast, which they dub the Tingler, subside. Chapin experiments with LSD to try to elicit extreme fear in himself, but he can’t keep himself from screaming. So he injects a deaf/mute woman (Judith Evelyn) with the drug, and she dies of extreme fright. During the autopsy, he removes the Tingler from her back so he can study it. It doesn’t take long before it gets loose, and now everyone must scream to save their lives.

During the climax of the film with the Tingler gets loose in a movie theater is when William Castle’s gimmick went to work. The Tingler was billed as being filmed in Percepto, and Castle made a disclaimer for the beginning to the film explaining what might happen to the audience. In part he says, “ I feel obligated to warn you that some of the sensations— some of the physical reactions which the actors on the screen will feel— will also be experienced, for the first time in motion picture history, by certain members of this audience.” It was only certain members of the audience because only some seats where equipped with the vibrating box that went off. For years, many people thought that the audience was actually given electric shocks, and Castle didn’t help matters by stating it incorrectly in his biography. The film going experience didn’t end with vibrating seats. Castle also planted people in the audience to scream at key times and women who would faint and have to be taken from the theater. Seeing The Tingler must have been unlike seeing any other film, and it’s an experience I wish I could have had.

The gimmick aside, the film is filled with some great performances. In the documentary about The Tingler included on the disk, someone pointed out that Vincent Price could deliver the most absurd dialog and make it sound feasible. He definitely was working overtime in that department with this film. The best dialog in the film has to be the interchanges between Price’s Warren Chapin and his philandering wife Isabel played by Patricia Cutts. Here’s one of my favorites:

Isabel: "You know, Warren, you've lost contact with living people. Nobody means anything to you anymore, unless they're dead and you can root around in them with your sharp little knives. There's a word for you."

Warren: "There's several for you."

This verbal sparing really gives the film some pep in the beginning if the film when things are getting started. Price and Cutts had an explosive chemistry that leapt off the screen. Although there would have been no reason for it, I did kind of wish for more scenes between the two of them.

There are also several other supporting roles I have to mention. Pamela Lincoln played Isabel’s younger sister, and she was engaged to actor Darryl Hickman. William Castle got Hickman to take the part to help Lincoln’s career, and some places say Hickman was talked into doing the part for free. Both Hickman and Lincoln are adequate in their parts, but neither one are particularly memorable. On the other hand, Judith Evelyn as the deaf/mute Ms. Higgins was really good. Ms. Higgins and her husband Ollie (Phillip Coolidge) own a silent movie theater, and the character that Evelyn played seemed like she stepped right off that silent movie screen. I really enjoyed watching the performance. It’s also kind of fascinating that Evelyn’s other widely known performance is also one without words. She played Miss Lonely Hearts in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window.

The Tingler, without all the history and gimmicks, is a standard late 50’s shocker with some pretty shoddy special effects. If you can’t see the wire dragging the Tingler around the screen, then you must not be looking very hard. Yet the magic of William Castle rubs off all over this film, and even fifty years later, it still holds up as an enjoyably fun film. I had a great time watching it, and if you haven’t seen it, I think you’ll have a great time too. So check it out, and don’t forget to scream because it just might save your life!

Even though I’ve heard good things about Psycho II, it’s a film that I’ve avoided for some time. Long time readers will know that I can talk about Mr. Hitchcock and his films ad nauseum, and while Vertigo remains my favorite, Psycho runs a tight second. It’s a virtually flawless film, and it established the Master of Suspense as a legend in the world of horror as well. Psycho is a film I’ve seen dozens of times, and I’ve spent countless hours thinking and researching it (if you have any doubt about that you can check out my massive three post review starting HERE). The idea of a sequel made more than twenty years after the fact and directed by the man who helmed Patrick and Cloak and Dagger just didn’t appeal to me. Recently I ran across a copy on DVD and since a few friends of mine encouraged me to see it, I bought a copy of Psycho II.

Wisely, the sequel is set 22 years after the events of the first film, and Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) is being released from the mental institution much to the dismay of Lila Loomis (Vera Miles returning as the same character she played in Hitchcock’s film). Norman’s doctor, Bill Raymond (Robert Loggia), says that his patient is completely rehabilitated, and he’s got Norman a job in a local diner. There he meets a waitress, Mary Samuels (Meg Tilly) who he invites to stay at his home and help him recover. It’s not long before Bates starts to get phone calls, have visions, and receive notes from his mother, and Norman starts to descend into madness again. Only this time he’s getting some help, Mary Samuels is really Mary Loomis, and she and her mother plan to put Norman back into the asylum before he can kill again.

I want to say right off the bat that Psycho II far exceeded my expectations. Granted they were pretty low, but I was really surprised how much I got out of this film. Since I didn’t know anything about it going in, it was an interesting twist that Norman was going to be the protagonist this time around. The film does a good job with making the first picture’s psycho killer into a sympathetic character. I can’t think of another occasion where this transition has worked. As a viewer I was torn between wanting Norman to remain sane and waiting for him to get tarted up and start stabbing people in the shower. For at least half of the film, it’s unclear what is real and what is in his head, and it makes for quite an engrossing watch.

Anthony Perkins is really in fine form here, and even 22 years after he originated the role, he manages to capture the same nervous ticks that made Norman Bates such an interesting character. The best parts come after Norman discovers the plot to drive him insane and begins to turn the tables. Watching Perkins portray the barely restrained glee as Norman messes with Mary and Lila’s heads brought a smile to my face. It’s really impressive that Perkins could summon a character that was so far in his past, but perhaps more interestingly make him sympathetic. We know Norman is a killer, and we’ve seen what he did to Marian Crane in the shower. Somehow Perkins’ performance makes that all fade away. For years he tried to escape the shadow of Norman Bates. With Psycho II, he embraced it fully and what came though was a thrill to watch.

Now Mr. Perkins is not the only returning actor. Vera Miles does a wonderful job as the conniving Lila Loomis (her maiden name is of course Crane). I can’t say I blame Lila for wanting Norman locked away. If he killed my sister then I would too. Yet as much as Norman is our sympathetic protagonist, Lila is played as the evil, scheming antagonist. I think this was a very interesting choice. If the film had been about Norman getting out, killing folks, and Lila being the crusader who brought him to justice, it would have felt like a silly cop out. Many of Miles’ scenes are shared with Meg Tilly as Mary Loomis. It was quite a good little nod to the original film when she introduces herself to Norman as Mary Samuels, the name Marion Crane used to check in at the Bates Motel. Tilly is good in her part as well, but she’s saddled with one of the most tragic haircuts in movie history. Seriously, this is a mullet that would make Billy Ray Cyrus cry.

There are two other performances I want to point out briefly. The first is Robert Loggia as Norman’s shrink. No matter what film I see him in; Robert Loggia is one of those actors who seem to play everything the same. That really doesn’t bother me, and I always enjoy saying Robert Loggia. It’s something of a mantra to me. I don’t know what it is, but there’s a calming effect. Say it with me. Robert Loggia. Doesn’t that feel nice? The other interesting fellow is Mr. Prime Time Bare Ass himself, Dennis Franz. I don’t know if Franz has ever looked quite as slimy as he did as the scoundrel Warren Toomey who is the new manager of the Bates Motel. The scenes he shares with Perkins are really nice, and it really takes someone special to seem more reprehensible than a serial killer.

I wasn’t a huge fan of director Richard Franklin’s film Patrick although I do really love his 1984 feature Cloak and Dagger. Psycho II can surely be added to the list of his films I enjoy. Franklin chose John Carpenter’s frequent collaborator Dean Cundey as his cinematographer, and the pair did a really good job of invoking Hitchcockian style without feeling like they were cribbing from the master. Psycho II was also very well written by screenwriter Tom Holland whose other credits include Child’s Play, Fright Night, Class of 1984, and the aforementioned Cloak and Dagger. Holland made all the right choices, and the pairing of his script with Franklin’s direction lets the film have a life of its own without existing only in the shadow of its predecessor.

If anyone was going to be really harsh on a sequel to Psycho, then I think it would be me. I was all set to rip this film apart and trash it from stem to stern, but surprisingly, I didn’t get a chance to do so. Now I don’t want you folks to get me wrong. Psycho II never reaches the level that the original film climbed to, but judged solely on its own merits, Psycho II is a film I can recommend to fans of the original. Getting to spend another ninety minutes delving into the psyche of Norman Bates with this quality film is enough to leave a smile on anyone’s face.

I’m back, and I’m rested, ready, and relaxed after the Christmas break. I hope everyone had a great holiday, and that you all got everything you wanted from Mr. Claus. I got plenty of great gifts, and of course, the people who know me well know there’s nothing I love more than movies. So I opened plenty of packages to find cinematic delights within. One of those films came from my lovely wife who hunted far and wide to find something interesting that I would like and did not have. What she came back with was an interesting film indeed, Tinto Brass’ 1967 film Col cuore in gola a.k.a Deadly Sweet. Billed as a “A Sexy Giallo Thriller”, the film delivers on most counts, and it throws in art house overtones, pop art references, and a few comic moments for good measure.

Bernard (Jean-Louis Trintgnant) is a French actor visiting London who meets the beautiful Jane (Ewa Aulin) while he’s out at the disco. Jane’s father was recently killed in a hit and run accident, and when Bernard follows her out of the club, he finds another dead man at her feet. Jane claims she didn’t do it, and he’s so smitten he whisks her away before the cops arrive. At his apartment, she tells him that the man had been blackmailing her father with pictures of her stepmother. Bernard promises to help her find out who killed the blackmailer and clear her name. He begins his investigation, and soon everyone from a thug named Jelly Roll to a midget is out to get him before he can solve the case.

Tinto Brass is probably best known for his erotic film work including films such as 1976’s Salon Kitty, 2000’s Cheeky (which is about what you‘d think it might be about), and infamously 1979’s Caligula which he performed principal photography on before being fired and replaced by Bob Guccione. Brass started his career with more of a directionless motion trying his hand at spaghetti western (Yankee, 1966), science fiction sex comedy (Il disco volante, 1964) and even straight drama (Chi lavora e perduto, 1963). With 1967’s Col cuore in gola, Brass planted the seeds of what would become his style of filmmaking, sexy and artistic with a snappy script. Even so, it is clearly the film of a less experienced filmmaker.

While in his later films Mr. Brass always exhibited a desire for artistically driven film within the context of the Exploitation genre, he really threw everything including the kitchen sink at Col cuore in gola. The film transitions from black and white to color at a whim, has flashes of Lichtenstein’s pop art paintings, and features quite a few moments that seem reminiscent of Michelangelo Antonioni’s 1966 film Blow Up. He also doesn’t hold back from using duel or even triple split screens. Some of these things work. The split screen scenes are particularly effective, but with so many random things inserted, it really muddies up the narrative. If I had not been taking notes while watching, the main story arc could be easily lost in the confusing mess of artistic flourishes. Another thing that held the film back was the music by Armando Troajoli. While I liked it generally, the whole film is tracked by two or three pieces of music, and it got very repetitive. The main theme was especially memorable, but after you hear it 10-12 times, it loses something.

The only actor I was very familiar with in Col cuore in gola was Jean-Louis Trintgnant, best known for the title role in the Corbucci western The Great Silence. It was strange to see him suited up and debonair, but he does a fine job as the French actor Bernard who is caught up in a mystery. He acquitted himself well with the action sequences, but he really shined in the film’s comic moments. I do wish a little more depth had been added to his character so there was some motivation for him to get involved in Jane’s life. Speaking of Jane, she was played by the lovely Ewa Aulin who also starred in the 1968 film Candy. She gives Jane the proper damsel in distress vibe, and even though we don’t get much of Bernard’s motivations, its easy to see how he could be swayed by the large eyes, innocent looking Jane. There is more to her character than it seems at first glance, but it wouldn’t be much of a mystery otherwise.

At about one hour and twenty-two minutes into the film, Bernard bemoans that he is “getting tired of this mystery”, and unfortunately, many viewers will feel the same. With little to no connection built between the audience and the two lead characters. It is difficult to keep invested in their plight. It is also problematic that every time Brass builds any suspense it is broken up by one of his artsy distractions. I really wanted to like Col cuore in gola more than I did. The style that it exhibits is very interesting at first, and the erotic aspects of the film are not as front and center as Brass’ later work. It just never really comes together. It’s also something of a stretch to label this film a giallo. Certainly, there is a mystery, but fans of the genre will be disappointed by the pair of murders in the film both of which occur off-screen.

Fans of Tinto Brass will surely be interested to see this one and check out the filmmaker in his younger years, but many other viewers will find themselves confused or bewildered by the meandering cinematic themes. The thing I will remember most from the film is a quote from Bernard’s character, “Water on a woman’s body is like dew on a rose.” Lao Tse.” I couldn’t find out if that was a real saying from Lao Tse, but it doesn’t really matter. It was smooth as hell, and definitely one I have to file away for use down the line. Col cuore in gola is ultimately a film for the more hardcore of Italian film fans or for anyone who has seen all the better-known gialli. So check it out, but if you want to follow what’s going on, you may want to take a few notes.

I hope everyone has a great holiday no matter how you celebrate!If I could set out enough milk and cookies for the lot of you, I would do it in an instant.

I'm going to take the weekend off to enjoy time with friends and family, and I'll see you back here again Monday. Until then, to you and yours, I wish the Merriest of Christmas.

Welcome back everyone for one last Christmas themed film before the holiday. Now as all you loyal Lair-ers About know, Thursday is usually reserved for the Beautiful Ladies of Genre. This week is no exception, but as I am in a Christmas rush like everyone else, I’m afraid this beautiful lady will have to go without the usual banner and fanfare. That’s ok though because she can stand on her own without it. Kim Basinger has long been a personal crush of mine ever since she appeared in Batman as Vicky Vale. I recall having her poster on my wall and getting all doe eyed every time I looked at it. So when I heard about a new title she was in that took place on Christmas Eve, it didn’t take long for me to decide what film I was reviewing today. While She Was Out was produced by Anchor Bay (along with executive producer Guillermo del Toro) in 2008, and it was one of the first titles they released theatrically (granted in a very limited run) in an effortto transition the company from DVD publishers to an actual movie studio. Personally I think they should have shot for a broader release, but maybe I’m tipping my hat a little early here.

It’s Christmas Eve, and after getting her daily dose of intimidation and abuse from her husband, Della (Basinger) has to run out to the mall to get some last minute things and has to park really, really far away. When she sees a car taking up two spaces, she jots down an angry note and leaves it under the wiper. Della gets what she needs, and when she leaves the mall the car is still there, but the note is gone. She gets to her SUV, and before she can leave she's blocked in by the car she left the note on. Getting out, Della is harassed by a group of wanna-be thugs lead by Chuckie (Lucas Haas), but she thinks everything will be okay when a mall cop comes to her rescue. Unfortunately, Chuckie draws a gun on the rent a cop and accidentally shoots him in the head. Della takes off, but the carload of young men are intent on hunting her down to kill the only witness to their crime. She crashes her car, and as she escapes, all she can salvage is a toolbox, and it soon becomes her line of defense… and offense.

While I was really excited about seeing this flick, I kind of had low expectations. It has been out nearly a year and I hadn’t heard a thing about it, and at the time I didn’t know it had been released theatrically. Thinking it would be more of the same direct to DVD garbage that floods the shelves, I assumed that Kim just needed to make some cash and took on a throwaway part. This could not be further from the truth. While While She Was Out, surely has some problems in the script department, Ms. Basinger was clearly giving it her all. This was one of the most honest, raw performances I’ve seen from her in years and years, and I think you would have to go back to her work in the late ‘70’s and early ‘80’s to find anything comparable. The years have also been very kind to her, and I would go as far as to say that she looks just as good as she did when she played Domino in Never Say Never Again. While Lucas Haas has his place in the movie, this is clearly Kim’s film. It may be overstating to call it career defining, but I hope it will be a turnaround point for her.

First time director Susan Montford, whose only previous credit was as producer of the 2007 over the top action masterpiece Shoot ‘Em Up, adapted the script from a short story by noted science fiction/horror writer Edward Bryant, and my harshest criticism of the film is leveled squarely at the script. It needed a polish to move it away from some of the cliché dialog and scenes that were heavily weighted with armchair psychologist babble. That being said; those same scenes worked as often as they did not. Most of the examples I can point to involve Chuckie (Lucas Haas) and his gang. In 2008, it seems awful silly to have a character pour some beer on the ground for his dead homie, but from the get go, I understood that that’s who this bunch of tools were. They were not really “thugs”. These were four dudes that thought they were tough because they bought into what they heard on rap albums. These are the douches who think they’re as cool as Jay-Z, as hard as Tupac, and as smooth as Peabo Bryson. Ok, maybe the last one wasn’t a good example, but you know what I mean.

Hass really brings this to life with his portrayal of Chuckie. He encapsulates the poseur quite effectively, and, strange as it may sound, Haas also brings to mind a similarly named genre film legend, David Hess. Both his look and manner reminded me of Hess in both Last House on the Left and House on the Edge of the Park, and I could not help but wonder if he derived some inspiration for his character from Hess' work. While Haas' Chuckie never seems as sociopathicaly sadistic as Hess' characters, he definitely has a similar air about him. When he does his monolog waxing poetic about Della’s life, it seemed like it was torn right out of the Hess playbook. The rest of Mr. Haas’ gang are forgettable, and one criticism that’s been leveled at this film was how conveniently multicultural the gang was. It was rather strange that an African American, a Caucasian, an Asian, and a Hispanic just happened to make up the foursome, but in the end the other three were mostly forgettable. They were there for Della to take out, and boy, does she ever.

I bet somewhere deep inside there’s a part of you that wants to see Kim Basinger kill a dude with a tire iron. Maybe you don’t know it. I didn’t, but when it happened, I sure as hell had to run it back to see it again. In one of the strange ironies of the film, the gang of dummies never gets past wanting to kill Della while she has no problem dispatching them one by one. This is not a revenge film. This is a hunt, and unfortunately for the hunters, their prey quickly turns the tables on them. The film remains exciting throughout with only a few moments toward the end getting bogged down. Cinematographer Steve Gainer, who also shot 2008’s Punisher: War Zone, did an excellent job capturing the requisite suspense for the entire running time. After a beginning that is punctuated by a sudden outburst from Della’s asshole husband, the cinematography takes over and keeps the feeling of unease going even as Della is just shopping in the mall. When the chase gets underway, the film moves at a breakneck pace, and I found myself talking to the screen which is something only the best suspense thrillers can elicit from me.

While She Was Out is a film that you would probably cruise by in the video store and never give a second glance. That’s a shame. Even though it is a somewhat flawed film, it performs well as an empowering feminist fantasy, a taut suspense thriller, and classic example of how the shooting style of the film can inform the narrative. In the moment, I had fewer problems with the film than I did in retrospect, but it did almost ruin itself with a sharp turn in the last five seconds of the film. Of course I can’t discuss that without spoiling anything, but I think many of you who see this film will feel the same. Never the less, this is a flick that begs for an audience, and I hope I can do my little part in getting it one. Even though Christmas Eve is going to be past us in just a few hours, While She Was Out doesn’t depend on the holiday so much that you couldn’t watch it anytime of the year. It also serves as a good lesson. If it’s Christmas Eve and you just need wrapping paper as Della did, then just go to the local drug store and pick it up. Also don’t leave notes on other people’s cars no matter how badly they park, you never know who has a gun, and they never know who has a fully loaded toolbox.

Merry Christmas everyone!

A few months back I was at a flea market, and there nestled amongst a heap of video tapes that held no interest for me was a tattered and torn copy of Silent Night Deadly Night 2. I had never had a chance to see this long out of print gem though I was aware of its reputation for awesome badness. I knew I had to hold onto it for the Holiday season. With only one final It Came from Video Tape before Christmas, I’ve fired up the VHS, poured a big glass of Egg Nog, and got ready to check out this spurious holiday classic.

I knew going into Silent Night Deadly Night 2 some of what I could expect. By some I mean about 35 minutes of footage from the first Silent Night Deadly Night film. Apparently the producers wanted director Lee Harry to take footage from the first film and somehow come up with a sequel. Harry had a better idea. Use a large chunk of the film as a flashback, and the rest of the time focus on the first killer’s brother Ricky (Eric Freeman). So for about half the running time we take a narrated look back at Ricky’s brother’s killings. Then he starts in on his own tale. He was adopted by a nice Jewish family that the orphanage hoped would set him on the right track, but Ricky just couldn’t resist the urge to punish the “naughty” people in the world. Eventually Ricky dons the Santa suit to finish the work his brother started.

The first half of the film was just as enjoyable, if not a bit more, than the original Silent Night Deadly Night. It plays out like a Cliff Notes version of the film punctuated by Eric Freeman and his incredible eyebrow acting, but more on that later. There’s no reason that the plot that later unfolds needed a basis in the first film, but if Lee Harry had to use the footage, he incorporated it well enough. The kills are all pretty cheesy and entertaining, and the hammy, terrible acting from Eric Freeman makes for some enjoyable watching. The “garbage day” scene, which has inspired several internet memes, is really a great example of what this film is, and that scene alone convinced me that Silent Night Deadly Night 2 was worth my time. I was really glad when the Christmas inspired mayhem finally started, and the film finished strong. By strong I mean silly, but silly in a really, really enjoyable way.

Now let’s talk a minute about Eric Freeman. Freeman and his expressive eyebrows only have a few other credits including an uncredited 1984 appearance in Children of the Corn and the 1989 film Murder Weapon with Sybil Danning where he was billed as Damon Charles. After one episode of the TV series Dangerous Curves in 1992, Freeman dropped off the map. Many people have tried to find him including director Lee Harry who wanted to involve him in the commentary track for the film’s last DVD release. For one reason or another, his whereabouts are completely unknown. Perhaps that’s the way he wants it. Maybe he’s embarrassed by the “garbage day” meme or the relentless reviews of Silent Night Deadly Night 2 that talk about his bad acting and bouncy, bushy brows. It’s really a shame. I’m sure folks would line up at horror conventions to pay 25 bucks a pop to get Eric Freeman inscribed on an 8 by 10 glossy. So if you’re out there Mr. Freeman, we kid, but it’s all done with love.

Now I usually go into a discussion of the supporting cast at this point, but there’s really no one to talk about in that department. With only 40 minutes of new footage in the film, they don’t really have any time to build anyone else up except Ricky. I did enjoy the short scenes with the shrink played by James Newman. He showed off enough quirks to provide some character, and it doesn’t surprise me that he still occasionally works as a character actor. What did surprise me was that his second role was in 1967 in the obscure spaghetti western Wanted Johnny Texas directed by Emimmo Salvi. He then took a little break, 20 years, before appearing in 1987’s Silent Night Deadly Night 2. There are two other notable faces in the film. First, Elizabeth Kaiten, who plays Ricky's short lived girlfriend, appeared in Friday the 13th Part 7, 1989’s Dr. Alien, and Vice Academy 3-6. Secondly character actor Frank Novak turns up as a Loan Shark. While he has one of those faces that you know you’ve seen but can’t quite place, lots of you folks saw him this past year as Henry Kissinger in Watchman.

Before I sign off, I want to take a short moment to talk about director Lee Harry. Harry never directed much before or since this film, and that’s kind of a shame. He did seem to have somewhat of an eye, and with what he was working with he did a commendable job making anything out of this film. From what I’ve read he has a good humor about Silent Night Deadly Night 2, and he knows exactly what caliber of film it is. For those of us who appreciate bad films for what they are, then this is one that should be on the shortlist of holiday favorites.

Silent Night Deadly Night 2 is not the cohesive film that the first film is, but the choppy clip show style is really part of the charm. Haven’t seen Part 1? No problem. Forgot what went on in it? No problem! Part 2 can solve that all for you and still have time for waggley eyebrows, “garbage day” and some good old fashioned axe wielding Santa action. At this time of the year everyone is busy running around getting last minute things done, and Silent Night Deadly Night 2 knows that you might not have time to watch a couple of Christmas horror films. So they manage to pack two films into one and leave you with a smile on your face, and that is anything but naughty.

In the interest of full disclosure, I had intended to review Silent Night Bloody Night today, but that film was sucking the Christmas spirit right out of me faster than people scalping Zhu Zhu Pets to the highest bidder. Instead I went with a film from Glen Morgan, a former TV scribe who had broken into film with his script for Final Destination. He finagled that break into a crack at directing and sat at the helm of the disappointing 2003 remake of Willard with Crispin Glover. Now, the original Willard is a much remembered film, but it would be a stretch to call it beloved. On the other hand, Morgan’s next project, a remake of Bob Clark’s seminal Christmas slasher Black Christmas, could be described as respected, loved, hailed, and game changing. So did Morgan manage to do the original justice? Well, I’m not going to say right yet, but there’s a good chance that I might have to recommend that Santa fill some bad boy’s stocking with coal.

Morgan’s film, like Clark’s, centers on a killer who is stalking the few remaining girls who haven’t left their sorority house for Christmas break. Unlike Clark’s film, we know the whole time that the killer is Billy (Robert Mann), an escaped lunatic who killed his family in the same house fifteen years ago. Naturally, there’s a twist involved that is telegraphed from so far away that it must have come in on the transatlantic cable, but I won’t spoil it just in case anyone wants to sit down with this flick. One by one the girls get picked off, and it probably goes without saying that the whole thing boils down to a final girl who must put an end to the slaughter.

It’s the standard stuff that slasher films are made of, and that’s the real problem. Clark’s 1974 film was anything but standard. Even now 25 years after it made its debut, the image of the girl who's been suffocated by the bag over her head is still chilling. Clark’s film also made groundbreaking strides with the use of the POV shot, and the phone calls that the killer places to the sorority sisters were filthy, curse laden, and perverse. In the 2007 film, they still get calls, but all the threatening voice seems to be able to muster up is a tired “get out of my home” style threat. The most important difference between the two films is the killer himself. In Clark’s film we don’t know where the killer is coming from, who he is, or why he’s doing it. Morgan, who was directing from his own screenplay, could not help but tell us.

Billy was abused. Billy was jaundiced. Billy was locked in an attic for years. Billy’s in an insane asylum, well, until he breaks out by killing a guard with a candy cane. Ok, sure, that last part is pretty awesome, but I really don’t give two jingle bells where Billy came from. The flashbacks that delve into his personal tragedies don’t add anything to the story as a whole, and they sure as hell were not going to make Billy a sympathetic character. In many ways, the Black Christmas remake suffers from many of the same flaws as Rob Zombie’s Halloween. They both took classic horror films from the seventies that were simple, straightforward, and terrifying and bogged down their remakes with pointless back story that pads the film and doesn’t move the story forward. Morgan makes the most of his flack back scenes by peppering them with some pretty brutal violence, and I couldn’t help but like seeing young Billy use strands of Christmas lights as a deadly weapon. Clever use of strands of colored lights aside, there wasn’t anything in the back story that could not have been completely left out of this film.

There are two things that save this film from being a complete travesty. Now don’t get excited, it’s still a travesty, just not a complete one. The first thing is the fairly sizeable amount of gore on display. While I could have done without the recreation of the classic smothering from the original film, I quite enjoyed seeing people dispatched with crystal unicorns, ornaments, and even a Christmas tree. Then there’s the eyeballs. This film nearly has more close-up shots of eyeballs experiencing one trauma or another than the whole of Lucio Fulci’s filmography, and fans of Fulci can tell you that is quite a feat. Morgan even managed to put in one scene which nearly turned my stomach along the way. The gore made up for many of the shortcomings of the film as a whole, but it would not nearly have been enough on its own.

Thankfully, Black Christmas gains some more traction thanks to the ensemble cast of actresses. Though they are lead to slaughter fairly quickly there is still enough time to get to know each of them a bit. None of the girls turned in weak performances, and it’s to their credit that they made the most of the script and its shortcomings. The two that really standout were May Elizabeth Winsted, who folks might recognize from Live Free or Die Hard, Death Proof, or Final Destination 3, and Kristin Cloke, who starred in the short-lived series Space: Above and Beyond. Winsted always turns in a rock solid performance, and my only real criticism comes from her demise occurring off-screen. Cloke, playing one of the girl’s older sister, provides a strength that left me hoping she had some action films on her resume. Sadly, she doesn’t seem to have any, but she did appear in a run of the show Millennium starring Lance Henriksen and I will be tracking that down. The cast is also bolstered by Katie Cassidy, soon to be seen in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, Michelle Trachtenberg, a.k.a Dawn from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Lacy Chabert, who played Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls. The most inspired piece of casting was getting 1974 Black Christmas alum Andrea Martin for the role of the house mother. It was a nice touch and one of several nods to Clark’s film.

There’s really nothing to say about the directing, cinematography, or score of Black Christmas as each seems to fit right into the mold of the modern horror film aimed at a teen audience. We’ve all seem films just like it, and if you’ve seen this year’s Sorority Row then just add Christmas lights and a yellowish killer and you’ve basically got it. Even if there were no original film to compare it to, then it would still be a run of the mill slasher that runs way too long because it fetishizes the killer’s past for far too long and with no payoff. I suppose it is supposed to distract you from the aforementioned twist, but it just brought more attention to it in my mind.

If you’ve seen the original classic, then there’s really nothing here to make you want to see this one. It’s devoid of the charm that Bob Clark’s film had, and while the actresses are all very good, I’d rather watch Olivia Hussey get offed. (Notice that I said “get offed” and not “get off” though the latter would be acceptable.) My grade on Black Christmas might seem a bit generous, but I did find a few things to like here. As far as holiday horror goes you could do much worse. After all, unlike Silent Night Bloody Night, I actually made it though this film. So while director Glen Morgan surely deserves a lump of coal, I think he might have been good enough to get a little present. Maybe a box of eyeballs for his next film.