...And Now The Poltergeist Rant
So many things about Poltergeist would have to be different now. A family has a child go missing though a demon portal in a closet? I’m pretty that kind of power also has a side effect of summoning Nancy Grace. This is a blonde American child that’s gone missing. It would be an outrage. People would be marching in the streets protesting ghosts taking babies. People would start running for office on the platform that if elected they would promise to protect our children from the spectral menace. The Ghost Hunters would go from Roto Rooter men by day to Congressmen. Anderson Cooper would do a heartfelt special from their lawn where he would be surprised to find that the guy that played Coach is the little girl’s father. There would even be new legislation drafted (though no one would be able to agree to pass it) called the Spirit of Carol Ann law which forbids any ghost, phantasm, spectre, ghoul, goblin, bodach, or spirit person to exist on any plane within 20 yards of a child. The real problem would come in enforcing it. How does one put the cuffs on a giant head that sticks out of a closet?