I hate to fly. If at all possible I will avoid it at all costs, but sometimes you have no choice. It doesn’t matter to me if I’m on a jumbo jet or a commuter plane; my stomach will be tied up in knots either way. See I have a fear of heights in general, and it doesn’t get much worse than looking down through the clouds at the Earth thousands of feet below. Needless to say, I am not going to fight anyone for a window seat. There’s just some part in me that dreads falling through the air unable to do anything apart from curse and flap my arms in a vain attempt to sprout feathers and fly away. I know there’s lots of bad ways to go, but being involved in a plane crash rarely ends up with you being on a high rated and beloved TV series. More often than not it ends up with someone trying to match up dental records with whatever pieces of you they can find. However today I watched Sole Survivor (1983), and now I’m not sure what would be worse, being in a fatal plane crash or living to tell about it.

Denise Watson (Anita Skinner) had the unfortunate luck to live to tell about it. While every single person on her flight was torn asunder, Denise fell to earth securely strapped to her chair with only minor injuries. After the crash she starts having a strange feeling that she is being followed and that something is out to get her. Her boyfriend Brian (Kurt Johnson) thinks she is just suffering from survivor’s guilt, but when Denise complains of zombie like people attacking her and her friends, Brian begins to believe there is something more nefarious at work. Denise might have escaped death once, but now it is using its recent victims to bring her into the fold.

As you might be able to tell from the synopsis, in many ways Sole Survivor is a forbearer of the Final Destination films. In fact, the first Final Destination movie revolved around a group of teens who survive a plane crash so it is very similar indeed. Unlike those films which revel in the death scenes more than anything, Sole Survivor is a tense horror-thriller that has some decent depth to it. Survivor’s Guilt is not an unknown phenomenon, and it commonly effects survivors of accidents, epidemics, combat, and even people who avoid major layoffs at work. In many cases, the guilt will lead to depression, self blame, and in extreme cases even suicide. The "haunting" of Denise Watson by the zombies and their attempts to off her can be seen as a metaphor for her own guilt. In the beginning of the film, we see Denise in the wake of the disaster, and I can’t imagine having to see such carnage much less know you are the only one that survived it. Naturally the film plays up the supernatural overtones with the shadow of death hovering over Denise and her friends, but unlike Final Destination it never turns death into a mere slasher out to get his jollies killing people with a variety of Rube Goldberg devices.

Sole Survivor was writer/director Thom Eberhardt’s first film, and the script is well written though I can only imagine how pleased he was with the homonym heavy title. Eberhardt would go on to direct the valley girl vs. alien film Night of the Comet in 1984 before going on to lighter fare with the 1988 Sherlock Holmes comedy Without a Clue and perhaps his most well known film 1992’s Captain Ron. For a first film, Sole Survivor is very well directed with a great cinematic atmosphere that gives the film a dire quality. This was also the first film for cinematographer Russell Carpenter, and he does a great job so it’s no wonder that a few years later he would shoot the similarly creepy film Lady in White.

Grounding the film is the acting of Anita Skinner. This was Ms Skinner’s second and last film following a small role in 1978’s Girlfriends which garnered her a Golden Globe nomination. Try as I might, I could find nowhere that mentioned why Anita stopped making film appearances, but she gave a great nervous performance in Sole Survivor and could have made a great addition to many more genre films. This was also the last film for Kurt Johnson who played the boyfriend, Brian. He unfortunately passed away only three years after the film was made at the age of 34 years old. Johnson reminded me very much of John Hamm in both his look and performance and profile. There are also a couple of minor performances that I have to mention. Scream Queen Brinke Stephens shows up in a minor role as well as the one named wonder Leon who is probably best remembered as the black saint that comes alive in Madonna’s "Like a Prayer" video.

Sole Survivor may not be as thrilling as the Final Destination movies that it would inspire, but it surely is a much more memorable film. While some of that could be attributed to creepy killers that linger around Denise, what will really stay with me is the subtext of the film. So if you enjoy horror films of the ‘80’s that strayed from the slasher genre that was the norm at the time, I definitely recommend you check this one out. I just hope it’s never my in flight film or I’m going to have some serious issues.

I could not resist getting into The Chuck Norris Blogothon hosted by Matt-Suzaka over at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and I wanted to talk about one of my favorite films of his, 1985’s Invasion U.S.A. It’s a film full of classic Norris badassary, and it was something of a childhood favorite of mine. However, recently I was at a jockey lot (a.k.a a flea market to those not from the South) and I picked up several videos including Avenging Force starring Mr. American Ninja Michael Dudikoff. Imagine my surprise when I was checking out the tapes and ran across the familiar name Matt Hunter. After a little investigation, I found out that Avenging Force was a sequel to Invasion U.S.A albeit with little connection other than the name of the hero.

It seems that Avenging Force was intended for Norris, but he was committed to shooting another film at the time, a little movie called Delta Force. So Cannon Entertainment, not wanting to waste a finished script, recast the bearded, chambray shirt wearing, double Uzi wielding character that Norris had  first played with the clean shaven, cowboy hat wearing, martial artist played by Dudikoff. Needless to say, it makes for two very different films and two very different Matt Hunters. I thought what better time to look at both films, and it would give me a chance to pit two ‘80’s action stars in a fight for supremacy. Sure, one of the stars is Chuck Norris, the star of such films as The Octagon and Firewalker, the man who made Texas Rangers look cool, and a man who has nothing behind his beard but another fist, while the other is Michael Dudikoff, but the two films almost make this a fair fight.

It had been a number if years since I had last watched Invasion U.S.A, and while I really remembered liking it, I was pretty hazy on the details. For some reason, probably because the main baddie named Mikhail Rostov (played by the always entertaining Richard Lynch), for years I’ve had it in my mind that the Russians were invading the U.S., but watching this time I found it was Commies although of the South American variety. What the terrorist’s motive is and how they managed to get together such a massive army seems like an impenetrable mystery to me. For those not familiar with the film, the Commie terrorists start blowing up homes and community centers to start civil unrest, but as an added bonus Rostov is dead set on killing his old arch nemesis, ex-CIA agent Matt Hunter (Chuck Norris). After the goons blow up his home in the Florida everglades, kill his air boating friend, and endanger his pet armadillo, Hunter comes out of retirement. It doesn’t take long before Hunter is going though more Uzi ammo than the entirety of the Six Day War.

There’s really not that much plot to Invasion U.S.A. The motivations of the bad guys are never clear, and Norris’ Hunter just seems to be hell bent on laying waste to as many Commie terrorists as he can lay his hands (or guns) on. That doesn’t really matter though. Once the movie starts kicking, it becomes one excellent action set piece after another. Chuck kills Commies in the mall. Chuck kills Commies outside a supermarket. Chuck had a knock down drag out fight with the Commies in Atlanta complete with tanks, rocket launchers, and of course a final showdown against Lynch’s evil leader. Needless to say, Invasion U.S.A makes up for the lack of plot with the variety of action set pieces. Plus the film contains some great lines. My favorite Norris quote has to be when he’s trying to intimidate some random dude and warns him that, “I’ll give you so many rights you’ll be hoping for a left.” Norris is at his badass best, and Richard Lynch makes for a great bad guy as usual. As a kid, I’m sure I loved the film for its endless action while not I might enjoy some of Norris’ other films a little more as an adult.

Since I just purchased it a few weeks back, this was my first time checking out Avenging Force, and I really didn’t know what to expect. The only Dudikoff film I had seen previously is American Ninja, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that Avenging Force not only starred the Dudikoff but also his Ninja co-star Steve James. In both films they share a natural chemistry that really helps sell the film. I also noticed one other name that piqued my interest, Marc Alaimo. His name might not ring a bell to most folks, but being the massive nerd that I am, I instantly recognized the actor as the evil Gul Ducat from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. With those actors on board and director Sam Firstenberg who helmed Breakin’ 2 and American Ninja, I was optimistic for Avenging Force. However, I was hard pressed to see how Dudikoff was going to fill the shoes of Chuck Norris in the role of Matt Hunter.

The story of this Matt Hunter begins when Matt, his Grandpa, and little sister go into town to meet their friend Larry Richards (Steve James) who is running for state senate. They accompany him in a Mardi Gras parade that is attacked by several gunmen out for Larry’s blood, but the only target they hit is Larry’s young son. Matt taps back into his Secret Service contacts (no CIA for this ex-agent only an elite FBI task force) and finds out about a secretive group called Pentangle that has been threatening Larry. Matt and Larry tangle with Pentangle a few times before the dastardly group tracks them down at Matt’s ranch house. They kill Grandpa and Larry as well as kidnap Matt’s little sister. It seems they want Matt to participate in their blood sport in the bayou. If he survives, he can have his sister back, but no one survives.

Apart from the subplot about the Senator, Avenging Force reminded me a lot of John Woo’s Hard Target which wouldn’t come out for five more years. Woo’s film is of course more visually impressive, but I did enjoy Dudikoff as the heroic lead. The fact that he was supposed to be Matt Hunter is another matter altogether. If Avenging Force was supposed to be a sequel to Invasion U.S.A, it sure didn’t seem like it. The powers behind the film had changed the lead actor, his former profession, and even his digs, but for some reason they didn’t find it necessary to change the name of the main character. The film also suffers because even though it has some good action sequences, many of them are laughable. The Pentangle goons chase Matt through the swamp in some hilarious outfits, and it lead to me dubbing them the "mime ninja", "survivalist Sub-Zero", "Professor Mardi Gras", and "the Gimp". While the fight scenes were good, it kind of broke the tension of the moment.

When it comes down to it, the main thing that Avenging Force lacks is an engaging plot. The writers tried to spice it up by putting together the back-story about the assassination  of the Senatorial candidate, but when you boil the movie down to its essence, it is nothing more than another version of The Most Dangerous Game, and the aforementioned Hard Target follows the same formula with better action sequences. I’ve seen many folks call this movie the best that Michael Dudikoff ever made, but I’m not so sure about that. American Ninja was a better film, and even some of the sequels come off better than this. The only reason that Avenging Force stands out is the teaming of Dudikoff and James, but sadly, the duo get split up about halfway though the film and their chemistry that had carried so much of the film was sorely missed. There’s also the matter of the little sister played by Allison Gereighty. She was incredibly irritating though thankfully she was in few scenes. Her voice and bad Southern accent just grated on my last nerve every time she showed up.

So as far as the battle of the Matt Hunters goes, there’s really no contest. After all, the host of this blog-o-thon isn’t a site called Michael Dudikoff Ate My Homework. While Avenging Force has some good moments to it, it just can’t stack up to Chuck being badass and wielding paired Uzi’s in Invasion U.S.A. I want to thank Matt-Suzaka for putting on this Blog-o-thon and all the folks out there who have participated. I’ve really been enjoying reading all your posts on various facets of the bearded one’s life and career. As a final note, I want to leave you with my favorite of the Chuck Norris facts. I know these are played out by now (and as someone who played World of Warcraft when it was at the height of popularity I’ve heard them all), but I do love this one for its simplicity. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

Ricki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991) Director: Ngai Kai Lam Writers: Tetsya Sarauwatas (manga), Ngai Kai Lam Starring: Siu- Wong Fan, Mei Sheng Fan, Yukari Oshima, and Ka-Kui-Hu

Ricky-Oh is a martial artist with super human strength. Ricky-Oh will only fight if words will not resolve the situation. After his girlfriend, Ying, witnesses a drug deal, she is held captive by the gang. She becomes so terrified that she jumps out of a window and falls to her death. Ricky-Oh seeks vengeance for his girl’s death, and he kills the crime boss responsible. As a result, he receives a ten year prison sentence for manslaughter.     Way back in 2001, prisons became privatized. Ricky-Oh is serving his sentence at Warden Sugiyama’s prison. Ricky-Oh must now overthrow the tyrannical warden and his pornaholic assistant, defeat the dreaded Gang of Four, stop an illegal opium farm, rally the inmates, and save the day. Did I mention the ass-kicking? Ricky-Oh must also kick ass.


Riki-Oh was a lovely film about fighting the establishment with super human strength and good old-fashioned kung fu. I quite liked watching the film. It is a must see for anyone who likes martial arts films mixed with pure campy goodness. From Ricky-Oh tying the tendons in his arm together with his teeth, to him punching an opponent’s lower jaw off, I was hooked. With that being said, this is turning out to be a difficult review for me to write. On the one hand, I adored the film, and on the other, I just don’t know what to say about it. Ricky-Oh shows up and kicks lots of glorious ass. The blood is beautiful and plentiful, and the English dubbing is a good time to be had by all. However, this alone does not make for a passable review. So I’m just going to jump in and see what does, or does not, happen.

When the film was originally released in Hong Kong, it received the dreaded Category III rating, due to its violence. Riki-Oh was the first non pornographic film to receive the rating. I have to say that I am a bit surprised by this. Okay, yes, there is some violence. Yes, there is blood and gore, but the effects are not great. I’m not sure if anyone else knows this or not, but in a porn film, the sex is real. Those actors are really having sex with each other. At no point in Riki-Oh did I think it was real. I did not believe, or even suspect, that the actor playing Riki-Oh could actually punch his fist through a dude’s chest. Nor did I think he could crush a skull with only his deadly, deadly hands. The point is, it is a shame that such a fun film got such a severe rating upon release. Although, the rating caused poor box office sales, it did not keep Riki-Oh from gaining a cult following. One good thing that has come from the Category III rating is that without it, this paragraph would have never happened.

Riki-Oh was a super fun film. I had seen clips of it here and there, but never knew the title. I was pleasantly surprised when T.L. presented it for Ladies Night. Now I can’t speak for Ms. Directed, but I had a great time watching it. The special effects were cheesy, the dubbing was bad, the action was way over the top, and it was AWESOME! I loved every bit of it. I look forward to watching it again, and I’m sure I will love it just as much as I do now. I cannot think of a single part of the film that brought me down. It started strong, stayed consistent, and finished strong. I should warn every one now, that the fun I had watching Riki-Oh has affected my rating by at least 1.

We all have very strange talents. Some woman can put a cherry stem in their mouth and tie it into a little bow. I’ve tried that trick, and all I ever spit out is a bent up cherry stem. What I can do is remember very stupid things I have seen on T.V. I never thought this would come in handy until I started writing for the The Lair. Now it is, believe it or not, one of my most treasured skills. I’ll get back to that later. We take turns picking films for Ladies Night with it rotating between Fran, me, and the Bugg.  I always get a little scared with it’s his turn. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but he watches some crazy crap. Some months he has been overruled. After all, it’s called Ladies Night. Today’s film was the Bugg’s pick, and I was relieved when he told us we would be reviewing Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. 

I had never seen Riki-Oh, but I had heard lots about it. Sometimes when I watch a movie that has been hyped to me, it’s just not as impressive as everyone made it out to be. Thankfully The Story of Ricky was all it claimed to be and a bag of chips.  The movie took everything that is awesome about anime, made it live action, and they left the creepy tentacles at home.  There’s so much great about Riki-Oh that it’s hard to know where to start. First off, it’s a story set in a prison, something I more often than not enjoy. I have always found prison is a great setting for action movies because it is the ultimate fight against authority.  The bad guys run the prison, the warden runs the bad guys, and the poor inmates have to take the scraps. These are some super special bad guys though.  Think marital arts super villains that are named after old movie serial characters, my favorite being Tarzan.  

Ricky gets sent to jail because he was avenging his girlfriend’s death by drug lords. In all the flash backs, she seemed to be a real wet blanket, but a Riki has to do what a Riki has to do.  Here’s where the tone of the movie gets messed up in fantastic way. On one hand you have our hero fighting of hordes of anime-esque super villains. On the other hand, Riki becomes more of a sissy with every scene. For heavens sake, playing a flute wasn’t enough, he had to play a leaf. It was like someone in Japan said, “I like that High Plains Drifter movie. You know what would be badass, lets make a similar movie but instead of Clint playing a harmonica, we’ll give our guy a leaf.“ All I can say is thank you Japan. 

This is a movie you will want tell you will want to tell your friends about.  The mix of the crazy story, and the over the top practical effects make this one of the most entertaining films I have seen in a while. Now, back to my special talent. While watching the Riki-Oh, there is a scene where a fellow smashes the head off an unfortunate gentleman, and I knew I had seen it somewhere before. Then it occurred to me, that cut was used in the opening of the 5 Questions segment on the Daily Show back when it was hosted by Craig Kilborn. So even if you haven’t seen the film, if you’re a Comedy Central fan there’s a good chance that you’ve seen that clip somewhere along the line. Down below the trailer, I’m going to embed the clip of the head explosion right under it. Overall, I thought Riki-Oh was really entertaining, and it was just the type of film that you want to invite your friends over to watch. 

Fist Rating

I don't normally get into the drama of blogging. I am usually content to review films and do my own thing, but recently, a poll came to my attention, and the very thought of it made my insides knot up. I refuse to link the site or post in question, but I'm sure many of you horror bloggers and readers know exactly what I am talking about. The contest in question asks what female horror blogger would you most like to “bang“. Not only is the question crass and misogynistic, it was also put on without the prior consent of the ladies in question. While the previous two perpetrations can be ascribed to poor choices, I find the later inexcusable.

I've always considered the female horror fan to be a pretty special lady. Not because they might be hot or anything to the like, but rather because they seem to be so few in number (though their ranks are ever expanding) My best pal, who is known to you folks as Fran Goria, was one of the first female horror fans I ever met, and hours upon hours of watching the silliest, goriest films we could find bonded our friendship. So when I saw this terrible “contest”, my first thought was “what if one of those ladies was Fran or my wife (Miss Directed)” , and it pissed me off. Not just for them, but because each one of those writers is someone's wife, mother, best friend, or daughter. They all also work very hard at what they do, and they are respected members of this horror community.

Last year when B-Sol hosted Ms. Horror Blogosphere accusations of sexism were leveled, but I, like most others, found them to be unfounded. On the other hand most seem to agree that this stunt by another blogger fits the bill. It is even made worse by his own admission of shamelessly whoring his site out for hits. Now that I've gotten that out of my system I can finally get around to something else, something positive I want to do to do my small part to offset the offensive horse hockey that happened today. I want to take time out to talk about my favorite female bloggers. They are smart, educated, witty women that I would love to discuss horror with over a cup of coffee. There are tons of ladies out there who love horror, love to write about it, and who I proudly call my friends, peers, and colleagues. Here in no particular order are five such ladies that I would love to have a cup of coffee with and talk about horror old and new.

Christine Hadden- Fascination with Fear- not only is Christine a great writer, she can also help make the Oscars entertaining as I found out last year. Plus my Grandma's maiden name was Hadden so I've always wondered if we might be cousins. Then there’s the fact that she just wrote an article about how to date Norman Bates, and there’s nothing better than a woman who will take a risk and live to write about it.

Emily Intravia- Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense- This lady watches some of the WORST films I've ever heard of. She so outpaces me on the bad scale and I think that's really impressive. I've known of Emily for a couple years though podcasts, but after exchanging e-mails with her, it has been wonderful to meet someone with so many similar things in common... And glee

BJ-C- Day of the Woman- At first glance, the thought of a baton twirling, pageant winning horror blogger seems like it wouldn’t work, but Miss BJ-C consistently puts out some of the best and most challenging posts around. Plus any gal who dresses up like the female Ash for Halloween is plain awesome in my book.

Christine from Paracinema- As one half of the dynamic duo who publishes Paracinema magazine, Christine has shown herself to be totally devoted to cult films all kinds. Plus she likes her some Hitchcock, and anyone who is down with Hitch is OK in my book. She also chose Street Fighter (the video game adaptation) for inclusion in the Gentlemen’s Guide to Midnite Cinema’s Ladies Appreciation month, and I totally appreciate the face that she chose such a dynamic hunk of cheese.

Ms Harker of Musings Across the Continuum - No matter if it is Twin Peaks (one of my favorites) or True Blood (another one of my favorites) or freaky deaky Asian films that I have never heard of, Ms Harker knows her stuff. Her writing is always flawless, and I love the way she digs way beyond the surface.

So there’s five ladies who I would love to spend an afternoon with sipping coffee or tea, talking horror, and only banging would be when I slap the table in amazement and say “Why didn’t I think of that?” There are tons of other great female bloggers out there, but I rarely think in those terms. I never think of an author as a guy or gal because I’m too busy appreciating their views and what they’re bringing to the table. So I just wanted to take some time and say thank you to all the men and women out there who are trying so hard to build a community and bring something special to it. There’s so many people doing a great job, and it would be a shame to let small minded people drag all that hard work down.

So that’s it. I’ve said my peace, and I’ve got it off of my chest. I tried not to point fingers too much, but I have to say what I feel, and at press-time it seems that the offending post and poll have come down thankfully. Tomorrow it will be back to business as usual with another review, and Thursday you can look out for my own special ladies, Fran and Miss Directed as they bring you another Ladies Night.

Making a sequel is one thing, but creating a film series is something entirely different. Most films stumble with their sophomore effort, and by the time it gets around to the third installment both the audience’s interest and the creative imperative have waned. Sure there are a few exceptions, Nightmare on Elm Street 3 springs to mind, but I could list dozens of films that never needed a third movie. Take for example The Howling III: The Marsupials or Superman III, did anyone really need those films to be made? On other exception there’s the Phantasm franchise. After a nine year gap between Phantasm and Phantasm II, it only took Don Coscarelli five years to come back with 1994’s Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead.



Unlike Phantasm II, the third installment was made without backing from Universal Studios. So that meant that Coscarelli was free to replace Phantasm II’s James Le Gros with A. Michael Baldwin who had originated the role of Mike in the first film. With Baldwin on board, Coscarelli’s script would reunite the entire cast of the first film for the first time in fifteen years. Where the first film was a groundbreaking deviation from late seventies horror cinema and the second film was a balls out action-horror thrill ride, Phantasm III is a film built for the fans to further explore the mythology of the series. Not that this is a film weighed down by its own continuity, but if you’ve never seen a Phantasm film then this is not the place to start. I suppose I should also say that if you haven’t seen a Phantasm film then you might not want to read this review. While I won’t be spoiling Phantasm III, it would be quite hard to discuss it without talking about reveals in the other film.

As with the second film, Phantasm III opens with a brief look back at the events of the last two films, and then it picks back up right where we left Reggie and Mike last time, in a hearse driven by the Tall Man who has once again come back to life. Reggie saves Mike from the Tall Man once more and gets him to a hospital. While unconscious Mike has a near death experience where he sees his brother Joey (Bill Thornbury) who warns Mike not to come into the light where he will just fall into the Tall Man’s hands. Mike awakes and Reggie takes him home but when the Tall Man attacks this time Mike is taken away despite the best efforts of Reggie and Joey who gets turned into a silver sphere. Reggie once again takes his Hemi Cuda on the road to track the swath of deserted towns decimated by the Tall Man’s forces. Along the way he meets Tim (Kevin Connors) and Rocky (Gayle Lynn Henry) who have both lost their families to the same threat. The three will band together to find Mike, save Joey from his imprisonment, and defeat the Tall Man once and for all.

Even though it had only been five years since the last Phantasm film, Phantasm III once again benefits from the advances in technology. The Tall Man’s murderous orbs look great, and in an early use of digital effects, Jody’s image was put on one as if he was struggling to get out. Coscarelli had also once again grown as a director. The film is full of wonderfully shot moments with a great amount of sweeping shots that gives grandeur to the events. This was cinematographer Chris Chomyn’s first film, but it doesn’t show at all. Coscarelli must have been happy with him as well because he invited him back to film Phantasm IV. There's also a great score, but there’s little to say about it because it was cobbled together from the first two movies due to budget restrictions.

What really made the movie were the performances from the reunited original cast. I won’t spend much time waxing poetic about how much I love Angus Scrimm and Reggie Bannister (I’m a huge Reggie fan) because I think I’ve covered those bases in my other two reviews. Needless to say they are both great with Bannister infusing Reggie with everyman appeal without playing to the lowest common denominator and Scrimm being his usual menacing self. Instead, I would like to talk about the return of A. Michael Baldwin and Bill Thornbury as well as the new characters. While James Le Gros made a good Mike in Phantasm II, it was wonderful to see the original Mike take the part back over. Le Gros might have been a better actor overall, but Baldwin infuses his performance with a fervor that I didn’t find in his replacement’s performance. Seeing Bill Thornbury back as Jody was also great though he has a very limited role. I hate it when directors are forced to recast a role, and it was wonderful to see those actors back in the roles that were intended for them to play.

The new characters fit into the film very well also. Kevin Connors was especially fun to watch as the gun slinging kid who was forced to grow up way too fast. His opening scene where he saves Reggie from a group of thugs told me everything I would need to know about that character in about 30 seconds. Child actors are often hard to tolerate, but Connors was so good that it is a shame that he didn’t do more after this film with only small roles in Prehysteria 2 and Pleasantville to his credit. Another actor who performed wonderfully but hasn’t had an extensive career since is Gloria Lynne Henry. Her character, Rocky, the tough as nails nunchuck wielding woman who (lets be honest) looked a bit like a female version of Dwayne Wayne from A Different World was not only the first non-evil female featured in the series; she also kicked a lot of ass. I could have and wanted to watch a whole film about her character.

It’s a very easy decision to say that I would recommend Phantasm III. The whole Phantasm series is a wonderful watch and the third installment is no exception. The more I re-watch these films the more I like them, and I wish they had been seen by a wider audience. Unlike the Nightmare or Friday the 13th franchises, Phantasm never made the leap to mass appeal, and that is too bad. I still have one more Phantasm film I need to cover here so look for that sooner than later, and I hold out hope against hope that a fifth film could still be in the works.

AMC’s filmsite defines a smash cut as “a cinematic term that refers to an abrupt, jarring and unexpected change in the scene or film's image (and the audio), in order to surprise the viewing audience.” The official site for the 2009 film Smash Cut says it is “the story of Able Whitman, a horror-film director whose career is on its final reel.” There are plenty of examples of the former technique in the latter film, but Smash Cut is far less interested in surprising the viewer than I would have expected. After reading the synopsis and finding that it starred David Hess, I expected a bloody, brutal film, but instead, the flick turned out to be a horror comedy that worships at the altar or Herschell Gordon Lewis. A while back I reviewed director Lee Demarbre’s first feature film, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, and much like that film, Demerbre sets his sights on a sacred cow only this time it’s the classic era of gore films.

As the one line synopsis says, Smash Cut is the story of Abel Whitman (David Hess), a horror film director whose latest film Terror Toy is panned for a severe lack of realism. While drowning his sorrows in a strip club called the Ass Menagerie, he meets stripper Gigi (Jennilee Murray), and the two leave the club together. Abel runs the car off the road, and Gigi is killed in the accident. Cracking under the strain, Whitman sees a way to finally get a realistic looking corpse in his film. When the police seem less than inclined to investigate her sister’s disappearance, TV reporter April Carson (Sasha Grey) approaches renowned investigator Isaac Beaumonde (Jesse Buck) to help her find Gigi. Their search leads them to Farmsworth studios and Abel Whitman, but when April goes undercover as an actress in Abel’s film, she might end up on the cutting room floor.

While the box art for the DVD may hint to a film with Hostel’s violent tones, Herschell Gordon Lewis is the real inspiration for the film. The man himself introduces the movie (and appears in a minor role), and my notions of what Smash Cut might have in store changed entirely. The film that followed was one cut from the same cloth as Lewis’ but with a tongue planted firmly in the cheek. It’s certainly not the best horror comedy I’ve seen in the last year (that honor goes to the hilarious Brutal Massacre), but it successfully walks the line between a cult film and a film made to be a cult film. Most wacky entries into the horror genre fit into the latter category, but Smash Cut chews up and spits out its influences in such a way that winks at the viewer without making too big a deal out of the broadly played humor.

If I was casting an actor for a horror comedy, David Hess would not make the shortlist. I’m not sure that he’d make the long list or the even longer list, but that would be my loss. Hess is what really made this movie for me. He’s made a career out of playing sadists in films like Last House on the Left and Hitch Hike, and casting Hess as the nebbish director Abel Whitman who cracks under the strain of his own incompetence is a stroke of genius. The years have mellowed Hess’ appearance so that at first glance he doesn’t look like a big eyed psycho, but make no mistake, that psycho is still lurking under the surface. Hess gives a pitch perfect, broadly played comedic performance. I’ve seen some criticism of the “bad acting” in Smash Cut, but the acting by Hess and everyone else in the film is on par with any of H. G. Lewis’ films which is surely what Demerbre was looking for. Even if it wasn’t, by the time Hess wipes the sweat off his brow with the sleeve on a severed arm, I was a believer in Hess’ comedic abilities.

There are a few other actors I should mention. This was actually porn starlet Sasha Grey’s first mainstream role though her breakthrough performance in Steven Soderberg’s The Girlfriend Experience made it to release first. Soderberg’s film, while technically better than Smash Cut on practically all levels, was plodding and dull, and it didn’t allow Grey to show any potential or personality. That’s surely not the case with Smash Cut. Her performance is probably the best of the bunch, and the scenes she shares with Jesse Buck as Beaumonde are high points in the film. This is the first film I’ve seen Buck in, and I really hope I see him more in the future. The first scene of Beaumonde where he strips away a disguise to reveal himself a la Inspector Clouseau had me in stitches. The film also proudly boasts some other familiar cult film favorites so look out for a nearly unrecognizable Michael Berryman in a crazy wig, Montag the Magnificent himself Ray Sager as a pervy evangelist, and, of course, H.G. Lewis as April Carson’s boss at the TV station.

Lee Demerbre has made several films in the intervening years between Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter and Smash Cut, but he clearly hasn’t lost his enthusiasm for making low budget gems. With the films or Mr. Lewis as a jumping off point, Demerbre made a film that was witty, snappy, and full of great touches. One of the best decisions he made was having the special effects be at the same level as Lewis’ films. So don’t expect blood and gore unless you’re looking for the Wizard of Gore. On the whole, Smash Cut is not as crazily manic or fun as Vampire Hunter, but it definitely proves to me that Demerbre is more than a one trick pony.

Smash Cut is a film I would surely recommend with a few caveats. If you don’t like large portions of camp and humor in your horror, Smash Cut is not for you. If you are expecting buckets of blood and realistic gore, then Smash Cut is not for you. If you want to spend ninety minutes laughing, looking for references to H.G. Lewis’ film, and the thought of David Hess as comedic lead interests you, then I highly recommend you check this one out. In the pantheon of horror-comedy, Smash Cut may never make the list of the all time greats, but it surely does not disappoint (if you know what to expect).