Welcome back to B.L.O.G. and the second week of looking at porn stars gone mainstream. When I think porn stars certain names come to mind right off, Seka, Christy Canyon, Anna Malle, and Raquel Darrian always spring to mind. These are the gals that I discovered early on in my porn watching life, and they still rank as some of the best I have seen. While none of these stars ever made the break into mainstream movies, there is one actress who not only gave it a shot, but also still occasionally shows up in a major motion picture. She’s the ultimate girl next door, a blonde goddess, a porn legend, and she is…
In 1983, after answering an advertisement for a modeling agency, Ginger Lynn made her adult debut in the pages of Penthouse magazine, and less than a year later, she was shooting her first adult scene with none other than the Hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy. Ginger starred in 69 films over her three years in the adult industry, but starting in 1987, she began her transition to mainstream films with starring roles in Blow Off! (1987), Wild Man (1989), and Hollywood Boulevard II (1989). She would continue to appear in films over the years, but missed her chance at a big break when she almost landed the Sharon Stone part in Casino. Recently, as well as returning to porn, Ginger Lynn appeared as the object of Captain Spaulding’s fantasy girl in The Devil’s Rejects.
Tonight I want to talk to you about one of the mainstream films Ginger is most known for. It’s not one of her biggest roles, but perhaps one of her best. Plus, she wrestles with Linnea Quigley. With that being said who wouldn’t want to enroll in….
Vice Academy (1989) starring Linnea Quigley, Ginger Lynn Allen, Karen Russell, Ken Abraham, Jayne Hamil, and Jean Carol. Directed by Rick Slone.
Nearing graduation at the Vice Academy DiDi, Shawnee, and Dwayne (Quigley, Russell, and Abraham) are in need of a few arrests. They must fill their quotas o they can graduate, but when the porn ring they busted goes free, they are left with only 24 hours to orchestrate a major bust. They go after Queen Bee (Carol), the head of all the drugs and girls in the city, but when Dwayne and Shawnee are captured, it’s up to Didi to save the day
The Bugg Speaks
Try as I might, I could not work Ginger Lynn into that synopsis without going into a ton of exposition. Suffice it to say that, as in almost every school-based film, there must be a spoiled girl who is used to getting her way. In this case, its Ginger’s Holly Wells, the police chief’s daughter. The film actually opens with Ginger using her feminine wiles to make a dug bust, and I was a bit disappointed that she was not in the film more than she was. Once the action gets kicking, it’s Linnea’s movie. Which is not a bad thing, Quigley is one of my favorite scream queens and in Vice Academy, and she proves that she also has some good comic timing.
Now there’s only so much comic timing can do when a script is written like this. Rick Slone, the writer/director behind such other films as Hobgoblins (1988), The Visitants (1986), and five sequels to Vice Academy, packed this film with a lot of jokes, and he’s a man after my own heart. The film is so packed with zingers that only half of them work, and personally, I am a big proponent to the scatter bomb technique of comedy. If you tell enough jokes, one of them is bound to hit the mark. Many of them do, and the ones that don’t are so cringe worthy or groan inducing that they keep the film lively throughout.
What really makes this film work is the vast number of entertaining performances. Ginger Lynn is deliciously fun as the bitchy Holly, and I will be looking forward to checking out more of the Vice Academy series in the hopes that her role expands. Linnea Quigley is great as always, and as usual, her performance raises the film up quite a bit. I almost didn’t recognize Karen Russell with all her hair. She was sure a lot better looking with a full head of teased out 80’s hair than the horrible mohawk she sported in Phoenix the Warrior. Russell had the best running gag in the film. When asked how she would disarm an assailant with a gun, she just pulls out her boobs. Naturally, and quite expectedly, this comes into play later in the film, but on many levels, the joke was worth it.
I have two more actresses that I just have to talk about. The first is Jayne Hamil. AS the head of the Vice Academy, Hamil seemed to be channeling a bit of Mary Woronov’s character from Rock and Roll High School. However, unlike that shrewish principal, no amount of dressing Hamil down could disguise that she was quite the attractive lady underneath. On the other end of that spectrum is the completely freakish Queen Bee. Eating honey, wearing a corset, and with a massive “stinger” attached to her rear, Jean Carol’s criminal mastermind is quite the odd sight. Add to that look an enormous domed head of wispy blonde hair, and you have one of the most unique looking baddies in film history. Carol would go on to a career that included an extended run on the soap Guiding Light, but I suspect she left her giant hair and butt stinger at home for that job.
The film looks just as you might expect. It’s a low budget ‘80’s sex comedy (without much sex, this is no Hardbodies) so don’t check this film out looking for artful direction or cinematography because you will leave sorely disappointed. Also to the music lovers out there, if you’ve ever wondered what a series of those preprogrammed demos that used to come on Casio keyboards would sound like as a movie score, now’s your chance to find out. Each time I thought the music could not get much worse; it managed to trump itself. However, it did seem to fit in with all the rest of the cheapo ‘80’s earmarks.
While the film didn’t deliver on either the amount of nudity or Ginger Lynn that I was expecting, I had a great time watching this one. Its chock full of cheap jokes, crazy eighties fashions, and enough hairspray was used that I think we can safely blame global warming on the making of this film. Vice Academy starts the series off with some good times, and I can only hope that as I get to see the sequels they will be as entertaining. I’ll see you folks back in two week for another XXX queen gone mainstream, and don’t forget to check back here next week for another edition of Ladies Night.